What is the standard wedding gift these days? 

I apologize to Von Cracker in advance of the answers I think I may get

As I listen to NPR this morning, I hear them talking abou the US Chamber of Commerce.  It sounds all governmentally doesn’t it?  I used to think it was a branch of the government up until a few years ago.

Does anyone know what the US Chamber of Commerce is?  Who they represent?  How much money they dole out?  What interests they support?

So, I was driving to work today and thinking that I remember when America back in 2000 was a rudderless, leaderless country.  We had no idea who our President was going to be for what, like 45 days after the election.  America, yes America, had no idea what was goin on with the elections.  We were sending lawyers to the Supreme Court to argue who should be the winner.

Then, on my way to work I hear about the fraud and rigged elections of Afghanistan.  I then think and wonder to myself, could you even imagine what must be going on over there?  They have no idea who their next leader is supposed to be and on top of that an occupying force waging war within their borders.

And here, back in the “real world” people like Dianne Fienstein are saying we need to send in more troops. AS if the fraudulent elections and leaderless Afghanistan doesn’t exist.

Carry on about your day like these two issues are seperate.  It’s only like 100,000 18-24 year old lives we are playing with.  No big deal.

War is awesome.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ9IJPTopRQ&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

The only thing you need to read this morning is this BRILLIANT Frank Rich piece that rips “wrong-way” Mccain a new pie hole.   The more and more you listen to this re-focus on Afghanistan the more it sounds like Iraq.  These guys are so full of shit and the media are more than happy to let them.  War sells newspapers. 

The rhetorical sleights of hand in the hawks’ arguments don’t end there. If you listen carefully to McCain and his neocon echo chamber, you’ll notice certain tics. President Obama better make his decision by tomorrow, or Armageddon (if not mushroom clouds) will arrive. We must “win” in Afghanistan — but victory is left vaguely defined. That’s because we will never build a functioning state in a country where there has never been one. Nor can we score a victory against the world’s dispersed, stateless terrorists by getting bogged down in a hellish landscape that contains few of them.

Most tellingly, perhaps, those clamoring for an escalation in Afghanistan avoid mentioning the name of the country’s president, Hamid Karzai, or the fraud-filled August election that conclusively delegitimized his government. To do so would require explaining why America should place its troops in alliance with a corrupt partner knee-deep in the narcotics trade. As long as Karzai and the election are airbrushed out of history, it can be disingenuously argued that nothing has changed on the ground since Obama’s inauguration and that he has no right to revise his earlier judgment that Afghanistan is a “war of necessity.”

That little nugget above is one hell of a fact to leave out of the arguement.  Sure, let’s go into war with a country that has no elected leader and a corrupt government.  We should really be able to solve this problem easily.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bObItmxAGc&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

Don’t even get me started on the amount of money it must take to run the vatican.  Around 1:40 is where the truth really hurts if you ask me.

I was chatting with my daughter this morning.  I can’t exactly recall what started the conversation but my daughter started talking about a friend of hers and the familial issues going on.  The mom and dad are fighting big time.  The father is using drugs.  They have a 7 year old son that has Asperger’s and the daughter over heard the father say that he never wanted another child and now they have this to deal with.   This obviously meaning the handicap. 

Things aren’t going well at all in the house and my daughter confessed that her friend, an 8th grader is using marijuana.  She even confessed to me that she knows a lot ( I can’t qualify what “a lot” is) of people that do drugs.   Even that she has been offered what sounded like more than once.  My daughter goes to public school, but she was told me she was offered the drugs at a local catholic school dance.  A brother of a friend of hers sells it apparently. 

The girl that is using is your typical kid from my point of view at least.  I have met the girl’s mother that my daughter said is using.  In fact, the girl has slept over my house recently.  That same evening of the sleep over my daughter and this girl went to the movies together.  I later found out that they went into the movies and when the coast was clear bailed on the movies and walked around the Movies 10 area.  I told the girls mother when I learned they had sneaked out and she was very appreciative that I had said something even going on to tell me more about she has caught her daughter doing similar things in the past.  And, that she has lectured her about hanging out with the wrong crowd that is in that area.  I felt it was my parental obligation to let her know what had happened while technically the child was under my authority. 

The Question:

Should I tell the mother that my daughter told me that she is using drungs?

One of the things I did while I was out of work for 6 months was cut off my cable.  I had a newborn son I was caring for and not having the TV was hardly missed.  I read a lot and thanks to Cassandra I read “Infite Jest” for 6 weeks of my unemployment.  Somedays I found myself reading up to 8 hours.  The book is a MONSTER of a book and I literally CHALLENGE anyone to read it.  I don’t know how long it would have taken me to to read it had I been actually working.

Once a sucker…er I mean employer hired me, I called FIOS and went to Best Buy to set up my first HDtv.  Within a 72 hours of signing on for my job I had television.  Since that time, I now notice I read less.  I have to challenge myself to shut off the TV and play with babysquishy without the TV on in the background. 

Another thing I noticed is between the family we watch maybe 12 channels, max. 

So my question(s) is this:

How much TV do you watch in a week?

How long could you go without watching TV?

Back on day 8 I wrote a pretty good summary of the recurring thoughts I have with beer these days.  The quite literally waking moments I have.  I had them again today, this morning actually.  I actually dreamt that I broke my promise and was drinking a beer.  It was a very real dream.  It was one of those reality type dreams where the line between being conscious and asleep are blurred with the muscles in your body.   We all have had those dreams so you know exactly what I’m referring to. 

The dream was real and I was very disappointed in myself once I realized I was about 3 beers in.  I was disappointed not when I woke up but, in my dream I could feel the very real emotion of shame and disgust and disappointment.  But, those beers I was downing prior to those feelings were very very real and very good.  I can’t remember exactly what I was doing while I was drinking but they were Dogfish 60 minute IPA.  That’s how real they were.  The mind is a very powerful thing that is for sure. 

I like to retrace my dreams and find out why I thought of them.  Typically for me it is something that occurs briefly during the day either visually or through a sporadic comment made by myself or by someone.  I rarely pay them much thought, but my subconscious obviously finds the thought worth delving into more when it can control me more.

Yesterday as I parked the car in the garage and walked out the door, I looked down at the pile of empties that still remain, roughly 3 more cases.  I dropped off 7 cases on Saturday.  I looked down at the space created by the bottles that were gone and I felt my pocket for the 7 or 8 bucks I got from the deposits.  Right before I parked the car I was on the phone with a high school friend.  He laughed when I said I hadn’t had a drink for 9 days.  Really laughed.  The thought for him to go that short a time was laughable and to most would be too I imagine.   It stung a little, but Iwasn’t fishing for a compliment really.  It would have been nice to hear from a friend.  I guess now is when you find out who your friends are.  (ok, maybe I was expecting a compliment, but when I didn’t get one, I wasn’t too surprised) Also the comments from my day 8 post have resonated within me and are eating at me too. 

Somewhere during the night I think my brain collided these occurrences with other lingering thoughts in my brain.  My mind created this very real event and even created the shame and disappointment of having a drink and breaking my promise to myself, my wife, my son and my daughters.  The mind is so powerful.  The subconscious mind is so powerful.  the thoughts going on in the mind are an amazing thing.  To be able to dream a dream so real and feel the emotions while asleep astound me.  Just imagine what your mind is doing to you while you are awake.  

I know and acknowledge that I have a problem and I’m dealing with it my way.  the DV way is the way I do things.  I was told by a foot doctor that I would never be a runner.  2 years later I ran 2 half marathons and numerous 5k’s.  (I also broke a bone in each foot the past 2 years).  I push my own envelope.  I push things to the max.  As many of my friends have witnessed I teeter the line and many times have gone over the edge.  I do this not only with my drinking, but I guess just in life in general.  So be it.  It’s my battle with my mind and I’m going to win it my way. 

I also wanted to address the comments that were made to me with my post from day 8.  I can tell the people that truly want to be supportive and have dealt with this “type of behavior” in the past.  The ones that don’t get upset and lend support and say “call me” or something along those lines.  Thank you, I know you get it.  I will do this and who knows maybe after 6 months wont want a drink again.  I doubt it, but maybe I will be more responsible (heard that before huh?)  I’m not going to act like these are all things people like me would and have said.  I know they are.  but I’m doing this my way.  I’m sorry if that upsets some people.  Actually, I’m not. I’m sorry that you can’t accept that I want to do it my way. 

Sure, I know I frustrate people. but getting angry and directing it at me won’t help anyone.  Me?  I’m fine with it because I put myself out there and expect buffoons and ignorant behavior to come my way.  Just some advice for those getting upset with me.  The last thing people need is a lecture.  The last thing a person going through withdraw or his own program needs to here is a lecture.  The only person a lecture helps is the person doing it. 

It’s hard to understand what people go through until you walk in their shoes. Which is why a lecture is so easy to do.  You don’t have to put yourself in their shoes.  You put them in your shoes and expect them to get it.  Me, I have walked in a lot of peoples shoes and I guess that is partly what makes me a liberal.  It is who I am.  I understand people, even the haters, the bible thumpers and the racists.  I get them, i understand their logic. I don’t agree with it, but I get them.  I get all types of people.  It’s a gift I guess or a curse. 

Day 10 Clean and Sober and already I have been laughed at and lectured and most likely rooted against. 

don’t worry though, I’m fine