Tag Archives: Children

Remedies for the Classroom

If you have an interest in or care about public education in our country and do not regularly read Diane Ravitch’s blog I strongly recommend that you start now. I’m sharing a post she put up today because with WEIC releasing their interim transition plan for the city of Wilmington students and schools for public comment yesterday this particular blog post seems appropriate to me. Often times when discussing education in Delaware, the conversation quickly turns to funding and resources which evokes a bristly response from residents and tax payers. We spend a LOT of money on our schools yet stories like the one Diane shared are every day occurrences up and down Delaware and across the country.  If we’re spending all this money and the appearance of stories like this have kept up their frequency, we’ve got to do something(s) better. One line cliches like “trim the fat!” or “fire fat cat administrators” or “Something something Unions!” don’t provide any assistance in figuring out what we need to be doing better. Often the difficulties in classrooms have their origins outside the school building’s walls. Our teachers can instantly attest to the accuracy of that, just ask them.

So what do we need to do to put a stop to stories like this once and for all and how do we do it?

From Diane Ravitch: Bret Wooten, Dark Secrets of the Classroom
11/18/2015

Bret Wooten, a businessman in a small town in Texas, was puzzled about why his wife, a second grade teacher, spent so much money on her students. At tax time, he reminded her that the purpose of working was to make money, not to rack up expenses that were not tax-deductible.

She invited him to visit her classroom. And he did.

“When I came by that next afternoon, I found myself surrounded by the children doing projects and I jumped right in. I dropped by the school as often as I could, so the children were used to me at this point. But one young man always kept his distance. After the kids had gone, I asked Michelle why. She then revealed her dark secrets, the histories of the children in her classroom.

“These kids endured everything from true poverty to sexual abuse. Her list of questionable deductions started to make sense: granola bars, orange juice, cereal, milk, jackets, band aids and endless school supplies.

“The young man that would not approach me? She told me about him last. He had endured the worst. All the men in his life injured this child in ways that still bring tears to my eyes and a rage in my soul.

“Then she said: “He needs shoes.”

“The only thing I could mutter was: “What size?”

“These days we think we will find the answer to so many questions within the pages of a book or the folds of a standardized test, but this is the reality of many children in America. I wish stories like this were on the news or touted by politicians.

“Unfortunately, acts of kindness are far too common in education and thereby deemed unnewsworthy. If these stories were aired, maybe we could actually solve some problems instead of just pointing them out.”

The Nest Is Empty And, Boy, Does It Feel Strange

I haven’t been blogging a lot because this spring and summer have been crazy. My youngest graduated high school, had her wisdom teeth removed, and attended orientation at the university she finally decided on. My oldest knocked off a summer course at UD (He’s starting his senior year of Mech Engineering and decided to take a required gen-ed Philosophy course over the summer mainly because he knew he wouldn’t give it the attention it needed given his course load this year. Sounded like a good philosophy to me!) Add to that all the shopping for my daughter’s dorm, ordering textbooks, finalizing class schedules, endless list making, packing up two kids, scheduling doctor’s appointments before both of them left the state, and fitting in a lot of family time and you’ll see why my blogging lagged.

I still read DL every day!

But this weekend everything came to a screeching halt. They left. In the blink of an eye I went from having a million things to do and a house full of people (and chaos!) to… silence. That freaked me out.

And even though they haven’t been gone long the impact is immediate and it’s kinda silly what I notice (besides missing their company!). Things like… not running the dishwasher twice a day. Preparing a meal without considering everyone’s preferences. Not organizing car usage. Grocery bills under 250.00. Not stepping over discarded shoes, clothes, backpacks, etc.. I’ve gone from considering the needs of four people to only thinking about two. Suddenly my time is my own and I have no idea what to do with it. I’m feeling a little lost, and if I’m honest… a little useless.

I started looking for a job several years ago and the only thing I’ve learned is that I’m pretty much not hire-able. I’ve been out of the workforce for 21 years. (Wow!) It’s just a little depressing to keep applying for jobs and not even getting a call back. It’s also a little scary to think that once I’m done cleaning and organizing the house (that will actually stay that way now that the kids are gone) I won’t have much to do. Mr. Pandora has a lot of “suggestions“. I do love that man!

Is this how retired people feel? I’m not old enough to retire, but it does feel like my job has ended. (I know that a parents’ job never ends, but this is the end of a stage.) A part of me finds myself questioning my decision to stay home with my kids. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being home with them and I couldn’t be prouder. Two kids in college, both engineering majors and both on scholarships is something I’m extremely proud of. And yes, I will take some credit for that. Not all, since my kids worked hard to get into their universities with enough scholarship money to graduate without loans and debt. But… I can’t help but wonder as I sit here typing this post if I, maybe, should have gone back to work when they started school? Altho, when I think of what I would have given up I can’t really bring myself to regret my decision. I’m a bit conflicted.

Going back to work when the kids start school isn’t that easy for a city resident. Since the state and school districts decided to create high poverty schools and pull out all desirable programs, city parents are forced to Choice. That means city residents are responsible for driving their kids to and from school. I don’t even know the luxury of a school bus. Everyday, depending on the grade, I had to drive and pick up my kids. And given the age difference of my children, drop off and pick up spanned a big chunk of time. I’m not sure how working parents accomplish dropping one kid off at 7:20 and another off at 8:20 and then picking one up at 2:15 and another up at 3:15. If your kids have a bus… lucky you. And, lucky me. As a stay-at-home mom I had the luxury of blocking out 3 hours of my day to drive my kids to school and pick them up and drive them home. That was my privilege.

Now I find myself with a lot of time on my hands. Mr. Pandora has already scheduled two trips for us in September and October. Have I mentioned I love that man! He also travels quite extensively for work – to really cool places. Hello, China! – and is thrilled that I’ll finally be able to hop onto these trips. I’m extremely lucky.

As I type this I wonder what the hell my problem is. I’m also wondering who I am, and what use I serve, without children at home. I think my plan is to start volunteering (I’ve always supported Planned Parenthood. I should start there) and even if that never turns into a paid position at least I’ll be doing something I believe in.

The chicks have flown. The nest is empty. And I’m a little lost. Who am I without children at home? A question I probably should have asked myself earlier, but, in my defense, I was really busy! 😉

My Pet Peeve Doesn’t Seem To Be Going Away

I really don’t understand why things like this keep happening.

Acclaimed molecular gastronomy chef Grant Achatz caused a stir over the weekend when he took to his Twitter account to ask his followers if a ban on babies was in order at his three-Michelin-starred Chicago eatery Alinea.

The clearly ruffled Achatz paused his dinner service to complain about a couple at his restaurant who brought in an eight-month-old, who promptly started to wail.

“Tbl brings 8mo.Old. It cries. Diners mad,” Achatz tweeted. “Tell ppl no kids? Subject diners 2crying? Ppl take infants 2 plays? Concerts? Hate saying no,but..”

Alinea obviously doesn’t encourage diners to bring their babies — there are no high chairs on site; the baby sat on its mother’s lap — but it doesn’t have a written policy prohibiting their presence.

The establishment uses a ticketing system which requires would-be patrons to reserve, and pay for, their entire meal (minus the drinks) weeks in advance. If something comes up at the last minute, Alinea allows customers to sell their reservations or hand them off to someone else.

Personally, I found Achatz’s tweet extremely reasonable.  I would have kicked the couple out, but I’m mean and this has always been one of my pet peeves.  Yes, Virginia, there are places you shouldn’t take your children.

The story goes that this couple had made reservations and their babysitter canceled at the last minute so… they should what?  If you answered anything that involves taking an 8 month old to Alinea’s consider yourself wrong.  I’m also on the fence about refunding their ticket.  What if you had tickets to a concert or an Eagles’ game and your car broke down, or you got sick?  Would you be entitled to a refund?  How would that work?  What if you took a baby to the symphony or a play or a movie and the baby started crying?  Should you be allowed to stay?

Years ago, when my husband and I were in a wedding (that my back-up sitters (Grandparents!) were also invited) I lined up a string of emergency sitters because we had to be there.  Certain events, like dinner at Alinea’s, require back-up plans.  And, yes, in the past we’ve had sitters cancel – which meant, if we couldn’t find another sitter, our plans were canceled, as well.  That’s the way it goes when you’re a parent.

But this portable child thing is nuts.  Know what it also is?  100% unfair to the child and 100% the fault of the parents who place their child in this situation.  Not the child’s fault.  The parents’ fault.  And it’s been happening a lot, and not only at ridiculously expensive restaurants.  Even at family/regular restaurants some people aren’t watching their children – most seem to watching their phones.  I’ve seen children running around these establishments (which is extremely dangerous given trays of hot coffee/heavy plates, knives, swinging doors, etc.) and going to “visit” other diners.  What is up with that behavior?  Not everyone thinks your kid is adorable.  Hell, not everyone likes kids.  I like mine, on occasion ;-), but that doesn’t mean I want to spend every second with them.  And if I’m out for an evening (with, or without, my kids) I shouldn’t have to engage with your child (that’s your job).

And when you take your children to public establishments the point is to teach them how to behave at those establishments, and if they don’t behave then you leave.  It really is that simple, and I’ve left many family restaurants with doggy bags filled with food that hadn’t yet made it to our table.  In fact, we would have the waiter bring the check immediately after we ordered so we could make a quick get-a-way, if necessary.  My child’s meltdown was not a group project.  My child’s latest knock-knock joke or new Pokemon card was not an open mic night.

The parents who took their 8 month old to Alinea were wrong.  The baby was miserable (duh) and so were the rest of the diners.  And while it’s sad that their sitter canceled, it wasn’t fair to make other diners suffer.  So, I guess I’m voting for the no kids rule.

Bullying Okay If Done In The Name Of God

One only has to venture over to a Conservative blog to understand that if these people ever got their way they’d burn the rest of us at the stake.  But until that day arrives they’re content to let children be bullied in the name of their morality and their god.

The [Michigan pro-bullying] bill lays out what exactly constitutes bullying, but in one key part it says that the legislation does not prohibit First Amendment rights, and “does not prohibit a statement of a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil’s parent or guardian.”

The Detroit News reports that Senate Dems tried to add language that would specifically prohibit bullying on the basis of race, gender, sexual preference, etc., but were unsuccessful.

“I am ashamed that this could be Michigan’s bill on anti-bullying when in fact it is a ‘bullying is OK in Michigan law,’” Kevin Eppling, the father of the bill’s namesake, said in a letter.

Wow!  It even gives adults (teachers, administrators, school volunteers, parents) the power to bully kids.  So if the child is of a different religion?  Say whatever you want… as long as your sincere.  Different race?  Well, if you sincerely believe that his/her race is inferior… have at it.  Gay?  Feel free to point out their sinful ways.  Think boys are better than girls (or vice versa)?  Just keep sincerely pointing this out.

Michigan hasn’t written an anti-bullying law.  It’s written a “How To Bully” handbook.

Wonder how long these guys/gal would support their pro-bullying stance if an atheist/Muslim/Jewish student started sincerely stating their beliefs to little Christian ears?

Mommie Dearest

What sort of monster does this?

Russia threatened to suspend all child adoptions by U.S. families Friday after a 7-year-old boy adopted by a woman from Tennessee was sent alone on a one-way flight back to Moscow with a note saying he was violent and had severe psychological problems.

Attaching the note was priceless.  I bet Amazon.com has received warmer, more detailed, Return Forms.  And I don’t care what problems the boy had, the adopted mother’s action crossed every line imaginable.  If this woman has other children I’d suggest removing them from her home immediately.   And isn’t Granny a wonderful person – my, what big teeth you have!

USC Recruits 7th Grader

Via Gather:

David Sills, a seventh-grader at Red Lion Christian Academy in Bear, Delaware has got a great arm and seems to know the game of football. Even his quarterback coach thinks he’s got big talent, but being recruited at the age of 13 seems a bit overkill.

Lane Kiffin, the new coach at USC  has offered Sills a football  scholarship for school and in return Sills has verbally committed to the school. This just after taking Pete Carroll’s job and getting his feet wet with the new football job.

Okay, it looks like the kid has real talent, but…  what were the USC coach and David’s parents thinking?  Verbally committing a 7th grader so far in advance seems risky.  First, heaven forbid, David might change his mind.  Second, couldn’t publicly committing to USC limit the 13 year old’s choices and potential (if all goes according to plan) for a better deal from another school?  And, if the parents are set on this path – which the verbal agreement would imply – then why not get the deal in writing… along with a clause that states if David commits to USC now then, no matter what, he gets a full scholarship.

h/t Jason330  (Thanks, J!)

Cellphones, Texting And Kids

There’s a debate going on in the Pandora household – Is it time to let the kids have cellphones, and if we let them have cellphones should we let them text?

First, is everyone sitting down?  Okay, here it is.  I do not have a cellphone.  Now, everyone take a deep breath and I’ll explain.  There really isn’t a specific reason for my not having a cell phone.  I just never bought one.  And while there have been times having a cellphone would have been handy, those situations were never drastic enough to make me take action.  Also, as a stay-at-home mom my time during the day is spent, well, mostly at home.  Go on, you can laugh now.  (FTR, Mr. Pandora has a work cellphone.)

But now the issue has come up in relation to my 15 and 12 year old – mainly my 12 year old daughter since my 15 year old could care less about talking on a phone or texting.

Everybody still with me, or are you still stuck on the fact that I’m a mutant?

I have several concerns about kids with cellphones.  First, imo, kids should only have cellphones for their parent’s convenience.  What that means is if kids aren’t answering their parent’s calls then the cellphone should be taken away.  It’s a privilege, and should be treated the same way as the keys to the car.  I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been with parents who are beside themselves because they can’t reach their kids on a device they primarily bought to be able to reach their kids.  Another little wrinkle that I’ve witnessed – many times – is how often  kids have called their parents to tell them where they are only for the parents to discover that their kids were lying.  Yeah, I know this has been going on well before technology, but there’s no denying that cellphones have made the “I’ll tell my parents I’m going to the library, and then meet you at the party” ploy a lot easier.  I even know one parent who went so far as to track their child’s whereabouts via a GPS program on their cellphone .  Not sure how I feel about that, but I’m leaning towards if  you’ve reached the point where you’re tracking your child whereabouts through GPS, perhaps you should consider grounding them.

My second concern is the drama, fighting and bullying taking place through the technology.  And while I may have trouble getting my son to talk, I can’t shut my daughter up.  I’m really not complaining about this, she is a fount of information, most of it harmless, but some of it quite disturbing.  This is the way it seems to go:  Person A has a problem (real or imagined) with person B.  Begin texting.  Person A then recruits others to their side and they join the texting war.  Sometimes person B forms their own posse, but sometimes not.

I realize that these sort of arguments have always taken place, but what concerns me is how they are now taking place silently.  Two kids yelling horrible things at one and other attracts attention.  Saying the same vicious things through texting remains under the radar, and many of these attacks are fueled by kids unknown to the victim.  In many ways texting has become the bully’s new playground.

I witnessed this tactic this past summer.  Two 13 year old girls had an argument.  The texting began, only one of the girls put together a network of support that swamped the other girl.  And what started out as an argument over something stupid, and typically childish, ended with explicitly sexual name calling and rumors which quickly spilled onto FaceBook.  When the adults finally got wind of what was going on one little girl was already devastated.  And while this may be likened to nasty messages written on the bathroom wall, the shear volume of the attack isn’t so easily scrubbed away.

Another little cellphone “game” that disturbs me is the “let’s take an embarrassing picture of someone and post it everywhere.”  Again, most of these pictures are harmless and silly, but some are not.

So, I have a dilemma.  In many ways joining the modern world would make my life easier.  In others, I would have to take on more work by keeping a vigilant tab on what’s going on in the silent world of finger tapping.  A part of me knows this is inevitable, and a part of me resents the technology that makes the secretive world of teenagers more secretive.

So… any thoughts, ideas… or recommendations for which cellphone plan I should consider?  Or are you still shaking your head and saying, “Pandora doesn’t own a cell phone?  How is that possible?”