Not The Onion: Document Expert’s Job Is Scotch-Taping Papers Trump Rips Apart
More evidence that Trump is a giant toddler: For years, his habit after “reading” documents is to tear them up and throw them away (yeah, that’s not an incriminating habit at all, but anyway…). This habit has run headlong into the law that demands preservation of it all presidential records — all of it. After trying unsuccessfully to get Trump to stop tearing things up — sometimes just in half, but sometimes in tiny pieces — officials gave up and tasked a $65,000-a-year records management analyst with rifling trash cans for the scraps and taping them back together, proving Americans will too perform demeaning labor if you pay them enough.
Yes, this sounds exactly like the kind of story The Onion used to write; now it’s in Politico. I think it’s a brilliant move by the Trump administration to eliminate the middleman by governing satirically in the first place.
Toddler like indeed, and completely believable. So what’s the job title? Document retrieval engineer? Tape restoration specialist?
Really, you have to read it, especially if you once enjoyed The Onion. Sample:
It’s very telling when the Onion now pales in comparison to real life.