Bad News For The #Resistance: Sources Close To Mueller Are Suggesting The Pee Tape Is Real, But It Is Hot As Hell, Maybe The Sexiest Event Ever Caught On Camera

Filed in National by on May 22, 2018

…a breathtaking visual feast of unparalleled erotic beauty

For those holding out hope that the infamous pee tape will eventually surface and expose President Trump for the depraved monster he truly is, sadly it’s now looking like, if anything, the video will only make him more popular than ever: According to new intel from sources close to Special Counsel Robert Mueller, the pee tape is indeed real, but it is reportedly hot as hell—perhaps the sexiest event ever caught on camera in human history.

Sorry, #Resistance, but it doesn’t look like this one’s going to play out in our favor.

Unlike the vile, hateful scene described in the controversial Steele dossier, two anonymous FBI officials have now confirmed that the storied 2013 video of Trump ordering prostitutes to urinate on a bed in the Moscow Ritz-Carlton is actually a breathtaking visual feast of unparalleled erotic beauty, so captivating in its raw sensual power that it can arouse virtually anyone, regardless of sexual orientation. Sources familiar with the footage say that it begins with Trump—shirtless, in white briefs and black dress socks—sitting on the end of a luxurious king-size bed, beckoning forth two stunningly gorgeous blond women and asking them “You hookers got any piss in ya?” as they sidle up next to him, sensually stroking his broad, hairy shoulders. It’s then that things start getting really, really hot.

With no opposition party to speak of, the LOLZ is all we got.

About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (8)

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  1. Ben says:

    thanks, now I’m off to start aged-urine therapy.

  2. mouse says:

    It’s so warm

  3. bamboozer says:

    So, trying to shame Stormy Daniels are we?

  4. spktruth says:

    Sorry, evangelicals wouldn’t believe it, if it was published. He supposedly asked for that particular room cuz the Obama’s slept in that bed. Maybe he asked Stormy to pee on him, and SHE has the tape?

  5. mouse says:

    I used to wonder how religion could manipulate and fool so many people but it’s quite apparent that some people desperately want an authoritarian leader and they will suspend reality to make it happen

  6. Bane says:


    Who would be turned on by a story involving Trump in his underwear, his hairy shoulders, and urine.

    Its some sick people in this world!!!!!