Trump Is a Secret Muslim

Filed in National by on February 11, 2018 9 Comments

Trump keeps talking about the “four pillars of immigration reform.” You know who else talks about pillars a lot? Muslims.

Yeah, I’m talking about followers of Mohammed (PBUH). Ever hear of the Five Pillars of Islam? That’s by far the most common phrase in which the word “pillars” appears in the media. There’s no reason Trump would use that specific term of speech unless he were A SECRET MUSLIM!

You can tell he places Islam above himself because Islam has five pillars, but Trump’s reform plan has only four — one less, innit? That’s because he is humble in the face of Mohammed, peace be upon him.

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  1. bamboozer says:

    Knew It! Next he’ll make Melania wear a Hijab! Maybe Sessions too. (admit it, you’d pay to see it).

  2. Alby says:

    You’ve never seen her driving, have you? Think that’s a coincidence?

  3. RE Vanella says:

    Inshallah.

  4. puck says:

    And he coincidentally has “executive time” blocked out during the call to prayer.

  5. Alby says:

    He lives in the wing of the house facing east.

  6. Alby says:

    Why is that thing on his head if it’s not a taqiyah? He always keeps his head covered in emulation of the Prophet (PBUH).

  7. mouse says:

    And he’s fine with the abuse of women

  8. Dave says:

    He also has no affiliation with a Xtian church and if he isn’t a Xtian, then he can only be a Muslim. That’s why he keeps the Kushner’s so close to give him plausible deniability because if he isn’t a Xtian, he might be Jewish!

  9. Alby says:

    If we gather enough of these, we can make a listicle! Top 10 signs Donald Trump is a secret Muslim!

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