Second Prize Is a Set of Steak Knives

Donald Doofus was feeling free and easy in Japan Monday, drinking the covfefe that’s only for winners. Did he act steamed again, as he did Sunday, because his hosts had failed to shoot down a missile North Korea fired over its territory? He did not.

Rather, he said his golfing buddy Shinzo Abe — he likes guys shorter than him — “will shoot ’em out of the sky when he completes the purchase of lots of additional military equipment from the United States.” Trump said Abe had agreed to purchase “massive amounts of military equipment, as he should,” and that the U.S. makes the “best military equipment, by far.”

I am so, so, sick of winning it hurts all over. I think I have winningmyalgia. Moderate to severe winningmyalgia.