Fuck it. Let’s Give Amazon Everything

Filed in National by on September 17, 2017

We’ve all joked: A Senate seat, no taxes for 1,000 years, ability to shit out of open windows onto the street, etc. But, if we were seriously going for this, what would a successful package really look like? What does Amazon really want in a Corporate home?

Being a tech giant constantly fighting for top talent, I’d have to assume that quality of life issues are up there, but what specifically? Amazon

About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (28)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. puck says:

    This “HQ2” business sounds like a bunch of bullshit. Amazon is probably just trying to jack up Seattle for more concessions. Either that, or they really want a single HQ that is more centrally located (between the coasts, not on them).

  2. mediawatch says:

    As I posted yesterday in the open thread:
    In terms of what Amazon is seeking, the Claymont site has many pluses.
    Given what we’re up against in the region, let’s forget about the economic incentives and give Bezos a spreadsheet that shows how much lower property taxes, etc., would be in Delaware than anywhere else in the Philly metro area?
    If comparative economics won’t work, lets appeal to his ego.
    We can rename Claymont as Bezos City.
    Corporate whores as we are, let’s rename the state as well.
    Bezos City, Amazonia 19703 just might play well.

    If Amazon is serious, I’d say we match, or come close to matching, any competition in terms of location. In terms of taxes, we’re more than competitive with most anywhere outside of Mississippi/Alabama and the mountain states where no one really wants to live.
    Our public education system is mediocre — but that’s true of most other states. (Seriously, who dares brag that their public schools are the best in the nation?) And, what the hell, our private schools are great and the influx of $100K/year Amazon jobs might help them boost their sagging enrollments. And, if the public schools aren’t so hot, Bezos can easily secure a charter for the Amazon School of Finance, Internet Business and Warehousing. And Mark Brainard at DelTech will scream from the rooftop that his school will train everyone in Delaware with the skills Amazon wants in 6 months or less.
    I’m half-serious, half-having fun here, but my point is that we shouldn’t dismiss this opportunity, but our sales pitch should be based on combining our creativity with the couple of the locational and financial assets we possess, without promising to give away all the state’s resources.
    But I leave with a cautionary note for those much younger than me. While I respect Brett Saddler’s vision of Claymont as Amazonia, remember that it was made possible by a steel mill that no longer exists and a shopping center that has been on life support for 25 years. We know that downtown Wilmington has had a surplus of office space since MBNA became Bank of America. Amazon, should it come, won’t be forever, and the empty shell it will leave will be bigger than MBNA/Chrysler/GM/DuPont combined. Perhaps that’s a risk worth taking, but when you put all your eggs in one basket, they may turn gold for a while but it’s inevitable that they will eventually crack.

  3. Arthur says:

    All financial incentives aside – claymont? All those high paying jobs hanging out at the Foxx for happy hour? Or maximillians? No one wants to live in claymont, they just do.

  4. Tom Kline says:

    Income taxes are to high in DE. Schools suck so low property taxes are moot because you have to send your kids to private school.

    Delaware can’t compete with Pittsburgh.

  5. Paul Hayes says:

    Sorry, you say “Bezos” and I see “Bozo”

  6. chris says:

    Whatever happened to the much proclaimed Claymont Renaissance??

  7. Arthur says:

    There are only 2 feasible places in De for amazon. Where wilmington university is building on 202 and the AZ campus further south

  8. mouse says:

    Lewes where they want to put that giant ugly mall

  9. WEHT the Claympnt Renaissance?? The train station will be built. Something good is gonna go into that Phoenix Steel land.

    WEHT that asshole you used to work for? They’re doing good work in Claymont. And Mayor Dennis is still an abject failure, and you OWN part of that failure.

  10. mouse says:

    Agreed except the smart creative and talented folk needed for a high tech company don’t want to live in some angry religious nut backwater

  11. Ben says:

    I think a massive influx of good people can really fix a place. Look at Ashville NC.

  12. hmm says:

    A project of this size will make anywhere more desirable. If DE successfully attracted Amazon to any of these sites… expect an upgraded train station in close proximity, expect a change in the SEPTA schedule to said area etc. Also the reality is that the majority of the workforce would live in Philly, that said much like the MBNA days I’m sure plenty of the better off employees would buy in Greenville etc.

  13. SussexAnon says:

    …..a few more bike paths ought to do it.

    That seems to be all the rage for first world white people.

  14. hmm says:

    If you’re talking about the last mile e.g. transportation from a transit center, then yes that would be a good solution. Bikes are not a zero sum game…

  15. mouse says:

    I love the bike paths at the beach. It makes it so I can park my car anywhere between Tower Rd south of Dewy and Lewes and ride my bike all day between beach towns going to beaches, sushi bars, juice bars and the like

  16. SussexAnon says:

    Biking might be (and probably is) important in a city like Portland, but the paths built in Rehoboth? I doubt it. Seriously.

    The bike paths down here don’t go anywhere important. Not that we have any jobs to get to, mind you. Maybe the Lewes/Georgetown rail line path will be some magical boon for the poor to get to an even bigger Wal-mart for work.

  17. Rufus Y. Kneedog says:

    Tax incentives are nice and maybe he is looking for the sweetest deal with respect to subsidies like a public/private partnership to build office towers. But I think he is also looking to gain a measure of political influence on a national scale.

  18. Dana says:

    Mr Kneedog wrote:

    But I think he is also looking to gain a measure of political influence on a national scale.

    If so, then Mr Bezos should be looking to relocate to a lower population ‘red’ state. In the higher-population ‘blue’ states, he would be advocating for policies that are already (mostly) in place, which gives him little to do politically, and no way to make a mark. In a higher-population ‘red’ state, he has fewer chances to win majority support. His political influence would be maximized in a lower-population ‘red’ state, where his dollars would go farther, or perhaps a swing state, where he doesn’t have to move the population as much to gain political leverage.

  19. puck says:

    Bezos couldn’t become bigoted enough to win in a red state without alienating his employees, partners, and customers. Some racist a-hole would clean his clock. Because that’s what wins in red states.

  20. alby says:

    @Dana: State politics is for small-timers. Bezos has national-player money. It doesn’t matter where his HQ is.

    Given how many tech people are non-white, I don’t think I’d put a tech operation in a red state (except maybe in Austin). South Asians, in particular, aren’t going to want to live in places where randos with guns mistake them for Mooslims.

  21. mouse says:

    “The bike paths down here don’t go anywhere important.” Au contraire, The Junction Breakwater trail takes me to breakfast on my beach cruiser at Cafe’ Papillon for a tropezienne and a fruit smoothie at Green Man in Rehoboth then up the Gordon Pond trial to Herring Point for a swim and look across the bay at Cape May, then to Lewes past the first houses in DE, a search for beach glass, Nectar juice bar for a juice and chocolate chip cookie and sunset at the point with a view of the Breakwater Lighthouse. What else could one want?

  22. mouse says:

    Oh. Yeah, jobs are tough here. At least ones that allow for more than living in a trailer with a leaky roof 10 miles inland for at least 700 bucks a month

  23. alby says:

    You’re young, you’ve got your health — what you want with a job?


  24. Hmm says:

    The number one industry at the beach is tourism, the bike infrastructure at the beach centers around making it easier to frequent tourism destinations… It helps the local economy.

  25. meatball says:

    And yet, bike riding douchbags insist on riding on highways that have really no bike riding infrastructure. Can’t stand a “biker.” And yet, I am one.