Things 33% of Americans Believe

Filed in National by on August 2, 2017
  • 33% of Americans believe that gay people can choose to become straight.
  • 33% of Americans believe 9/11 didn’t happen in 2001.
  • 33% of Americans believe that the Bible is the literal word of God.
  • 33% of Americans believe that they aren’t the product of evolution.
  • 33% of Americans believe that global warming is mainly caused by “natural changes in the environment.”
  • and…

  • 33% of Americans believe Donald Trump is doing a good job.

These people are known colloquially as Republicans. We need to figure out how to get rid of all this deadweight.


About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (5)

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  1. puck says:

    We can’t “get rid” of them; we just have to start outvoting them.

    I know, I know, Trump lost the popular vote – but he won some states he shouldn’t have, and a lot of those states have Rs in Congress when they should have Ds.

  2. Dana says:

    The Democratic vote has so heavily concentrated itself into densely populated urban areas that you have, in effect, gerrymandered yourselves. When President Obama won 57 precincts in Philadelphia with 100% of the vote against Mitt Romney, you are seeing districts which can’t be split up. When John Kerry carried twenty congressional districts by greater margins than President Bush’s strongest district, you are seeing too great a concentration of Democratic votes for your own good.

    The Democrats went absolutely ape when the DCCC said that it would support (gasp!) pro-life Democrats in districts against Republicans if there was no better choice; even if you are pro-abortion, isn’t that shooting your party in the foot?

    Statewide races can’t be gerrymandered, and still y’all have lost 12 gubernatorial and 12 Senate seats since the 2008 elections. Maybe you need to broaden your message and become more inclusive of people with whom you don’t agree 100%, but can agree with 75% of the time.

  3. bamboozer says:

    Who are these 33%’ers? I see them every weekend, their mostly old, white, have no respect for education and tend to live in the past in isolated areas. How do you appeal to them? Subtle racism always works as do attacks on the intellectual elite (a.k.a. “them college boys”) and their always up for macho muscle flexing on foreign policy. Throw in a little born a’gin Gawd and you’ve got their vote. Their also on Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, unemployment and get food stamps when nobody is looking. Sadly there is no way to “get rid of them” other than to wait for time to dispose of them. Ron White summed it up: You can’t fix stupid. To which I would add willfully ignorant.

  4. mediawatch says:

    So now we know these survey cohorts are identical with Trump’s base.
    Which means that the same group of people are just changing their t-shirts every day.

    Straights for Trump
    Bible thumpers for Trump
    Creationists for Trump
    Tropical temp lovers for Trump
    9/11 deniers for Trump

    Still don’t get the 9/11 deniers. After all, didn’t Donald say that thousands of Muslims in New Jersey cheered as the Twin Towers fell?

  5. jason330 says:

    That survey was from the Obama years. 30% of them also said it was time for armed insurrection against the government.