Carper’s “Political Offspring” Featured in Celia’s Latest Tickle-fest

Filed in National by on March 18, 2016

There are tons of giggles in this classic of the Celia Cohen genre.

Here are a few samples:

“It’s like asking you to choose between your three favorite children (Barney,Rochester, Short). They’re not children. They’re wonderful adults….”

..but, seriously, don’t ever forget who’s your daddy.

“Pull for the home team. We’re all part of Carper town,” Carper said.

I feel like Carper resisted throwing in a wink at EL Somnambulo here and when he said “Carper Town” instead of Carperdyne Industries, Inc.

“You know sometimes, like people try to vote more than once? I think in this case I’d like to vote at least three times. I’d get in trouble doing that,” Carper said.

Stop. my sides….

As for me, I’m all about guilt by association, so this Celia Cohen blog post a big endorsement for Bryan Townsend. Here is a link to Townsend’s web Site.

But to the point of Celia’s blog post. I’ll give my quick take on the offspring and you lot can agree or disagree in the comments section of this blog. (Unlike Celia Cohen’s blog, we have a comments section. Just sayin’)

Sean Barney…He is no doubt ten times the man I am, but I don’t think I can forgive him for allowing Ken Simpler to get his start in politics.

Bryan Short… Does the world really need two John Carney’s? I have my doubts.

Lisa Blunt Rochester…I think she’d actually be an attractive choice except for all the Carper taint on her.

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Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (18)

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  1. puck says:

    Carpertown… Isn’t that somewhere near Pottersville?

  2. jason330 says:

    Yes. Take a right turn out of Potterville, and stop just short of Oligarch City.

  3. Jason330 says:

    Also, if Carper is “helping” in this race the way he “helped” Barney, then goodbye safe Dem seat. How many times do we have to learn that given a choice between a Democrat pretending to be a Republican and a real Republican, voters will choice the real Republican?

  4. puck says:

    Sorry Jason… unless the Repubs come up with a credible candidate, the primary will decide the election. Carper is sending his clone army against Townsend and hoping one of his soldiers gets the plurality.

  5. jason330 says:

    If you are Townsend you have to be thinking “the more the merrier”

    Progressives are a miserably shabby looking platoon. But if the Carper Town vote is split three ways… ?

  6. Mikem2784 says:

    Hans Reigle seems to be working his tail off to make it a real campaign and to be a real candidate for their side…and he’s not quite the right wing nutjob most Republicans of today are. That is in no way an endorsement on my part, but rather a warning that, among our decent candidates, we must choose the best and support them fully to keep the seat a safe dem seat.

  7. puck says:

    There is no “Carper Town vote.” Although we live in Carpertown, most voters don’t know it, like Jim Carrey in the Truman Show.

  8. Bane says:

    Townsend is sponsoring the Dupont Innovation in Robbing Delaware Act of 2016….

    Progressive? I think not.

  9. jason330 says:

    I also question that one, but everything is relative. Or, if you are Carper, everyone is a relative.

  10. puck says:

    The Dupont vote is so far an outlier for Townsend, or at least a strategic vote. The bill was wired anyway and he would have done the cause more harm than good by voting No. He has a long way to go before we tear up his Progressive card. Anyway, there are very few progressives. Usually progressives have to settle for liberals. We support plenty of Democrats who vote on the side of corporations.

  11. Bane says:

    True Puck, but they don’t go to meetings and rip corporate welfare and then go vote that way. They typically tell us they’re pieces of shit right up front and that we should just get over it. I kind of admire that I guess.. lol

  12. john kowalko says:

    I certainly have not and will not support any of these corporate tax welfare bills. DuPont/Dow moved the majority of research and other jobs in the agricultural spinoff to Iowa and Delaware taxpayers are left with some extremely costly crumbs (headquarters only) in Wilmington. Let me point out to all that there was and will continue to be opposition to this ravaging of the taxpayers’ wallet and I certainly will do my best to expose my colleagues to the illegitimacy of such policies that offer no return on investment for Delaware taxpayers.
    My point is that making a product (Oreos for instance), moving 600 jobs from Chicago to Mexico across the border for dirt cheap wages and rueful working conditions benefits only those multi-billion dollar corporations and their CEOs (see DuPont/Dow $80 million bonuses) while idling thousands of American workers who no longer have spendable income to support the consumer spending that is needed for local businesses to survive. Ross Perot was right about that sucking sound. For example: DuPont $200 million factory built in China (recently opened) employing thousands of Chinese workers manufacturing solar panels for sale back here, or Johnson Controls recently constructed and opened battery manufacturing facility ($150 million) in China for distribution from the Delaware distribution center in Middletown that taxpayers invested millions in infrastructural and road improvements. For example DuPont spinoff headquarters staying in Wilmington while a significant majority of the actual jobs of the agricultural research branch goes to Iowa leaving Delaware with 1700 layoffs of well-paid positions and only a potential for job growth with a price tag of $16 million for Delaware taxpayers. The list goes on and on. The adjustment of that 1700 number downward to 1150 (albeit questionable) still leaves Delaware with a $92+ million loss of salaries a year with a loss of $5.5 million in state tax revenue alone (at a conservative 6% rate) in addition to tens of millions of dollars of consumer spending capabilities (needed to sustain local businesses) and adding millions in burdens to an already stressed unemployment fund and other necessary government support systems.
    The “Corporate Welfare” policies of this Administration have cost the Delaware taxpayers $250 million during Governor Markell’s term. This irresponsible wasting of the taxpayer dollars has resulted in no discernible return on investment and has stopped absolutely no job losses from these wealthy corporations. Further compounding this administration’s erroneous economic missteps is the recent policy that was passed, despite my and Representative Williams objections, labelled the Delaware Competes Act. This corporate giveaway will cost over $48 million in lost revenue to Delaware with absolutely no appreciable effect to retain or grow jobs. Now the Administration has filed more legislation branded as “The Commitment to Innovation Act” that will further erode necessary revenue that provides basic, necessary services to Delawareans. Neither of these misguided economic policies will reinforce local business growth or stability and will leave a gaping hole in Delaware’s budget that this Administration will attempt to fill on the backs of state employees, seniors and the poorer families in Delaware. Adding to the insult of these types of corporate giveaways is the actual statistical proof that these types of bribes and irresponsible economic policies have been marked by failure after failure at an unaffordable expense. Read the linked article and please note that $22 million went to JPMorgan which profited to the tune of $24.5 billion last year with “promises” of job growth that would inevitably have occurred without this taxpayer outlay. Note also the proposed $14.16 million to DuPont which totally dismisses the fact that there has been 1700 well-paid jobs recently and irretrievably cut by DuPont in Delaware. And the bulk of its future jobs with the newly created agricultural spinoff (Pioneer) will be lost to Iowa. Consider the $11 million gift to Incyte Corp. with the promise of creating 130 jobs in the future on the heels of the announcement by Incyte that they were laying off 137 Delawareans. The Fisker and Bloom debacles speak for themselves as monuments to irrational and irresponsible wastes of taxpayer dollars. One tenth of that $250 million diverted to supporting locally based businesses for job growth, infrastructural investments and production improvements via tax credits and subsidies would ensure a healthy and robust growth in our local communities and not end up in the pockets of corporate profiteers. Call your legislators and demand that they resist this callous and flawed attempt to redistribute and divert revenues from Delaware families into the coffers of wealthy corporations.

  13. Jason330 says:

    Kowalko should have primaried Carney this year. That would have been interesting. He isn’t well liked by Leg Hall insiders, but if ever anyone is going to break through the utterly failed, “third way” corporatist bullshit that Delaware’s elected Dems are all enthralled by, this seems like a good year to try.

  14. #Hashbrown says:

    Bane, do you see a more progressive candidate in the race? Barney’s a dud from the third way who couldn’t even beat Simpler, Lisa just got back to Delaware a few months ago, and Short is a Carper clone (except somehow he’s worse at public speaking).

    You must be a Mike Miller supporter.

  15. Anon says:

    Bane seems like a Short supporter and for a long time has made ridiculous statements about other candidates.

  16. JM says:

    Folks in Delaware are not going to vote for a guy named Hans Reigle. Sounds like he should be running for the Bundestag.

  17. Bane says:

    I guess my Irish blood is pumping Anon. It’s that time of year. Lol… However, I’ve never said anything ridiculous about other candidates. I just point out the truth. Townsend is sponsoring the bill that (see jk’ comment) we all know is horrible. How is that ridiculous?

    Well, you know what, it is ridiculous now that you mention it. Ridiculous that he would sponsor it. Short sucks and he doesn’t hide it. Would never support him. Barney… cute kid, but blah. I see LBR as the only choice. I have only met her a few times, and would have to wait until the debates, but she seems genuine. Also, to send a minority woman who isn’t a career politician to dc to represent Delaware just feels right in 2016.