Scott Walker’s Wingnut Extortion Plan

Filed in National by on June 26, 2015

Scott Walker is threatening to NOT run for President, unless he can extort $100 grand from a bunch of suckers by June 30th.

Jason,

As you know, I am nearing a decision about whether to seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States, but a decision this important takes time … and money.

Whether I run will depend on the support I receive from conservatives like you during this crucial decision-making process. To that end, we have set an ambitious goal to:

RAISE ANOTHER $101,200 BEFORE JUNE 30th

You can help us reach our important end-of-month goal with a contribution of $10, $35, $50, $100, $250, or even $500 right now. Your generous contribution will show me I will have the backing of stalwart Republicans like you should I decide to run. Help me decide now.

With Democrats from President Obama to Hillary Clinton attacking me well ahead of any formal announcement or decision, you know things will get really ugly, really quickly if I decide to run.

That is why I need you in my corner right now, Jason.

We already know how nasty the other side can get … now I need to know I have your strong support before I make my final decision. If you support a run, please show me with $10 or $100 or $1,000 or whatever amount is right for you right now.

Visit here now to help us raise another $101,200 before our June 30th fundraising deadline.

Thank you for showing me where you stand!

Scott Walker

About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (7)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Gan says:

    A large number of candidates splitting the same pie of donor money won’t be good for them.

  2. RobberBaron says:

    Or he could do what Hillary does and solicit donations from foreign governments while Secretary of State. Wait. No he shouldn’t because that looks improper.

  3. cassandra_m says:

    Dude, pick some better wingnut canards, will you? This stuff is more boring than Dukes of Hazzard reruns.

  4. RobberBaron says:

    You may be bored, but you are not denying that is what she did, are you?

  5. bamboozer says:

    RobberBaron takes it to Lucha Underground: “Aieee!!! Es Terminado!

  6. mouse says:

    He looks like there may be a chromosomal problem