The crazy, fractured & rudderless DE GOP has a meeting

Filed in National by on February 10, 2013

John Sigler’s useless clownishness is on full display in this Doug Dennison blurb about the Lunatic Party’s Lincoln Day Dinner.

They had Sigler himself unveiling this year’s vapid bumper sticker…. drum roll please… “Renew, grow and win!” You can just imagine the assembled faithful leaping to their feet to lustily ratify that stirring bit of PR hackery by acclamation, can’t you?

—-//—-

When the awkward silence mercifully gave way to slightly less silent awkwardness, the second most discredited living Republican, Grover Norquist, stepped to the microphone to assure everyone that anti-growth innumeracy remains “the bedrock of the Republican agenda in Washington.”   Huzzah!  To paraphrase every Norquist speech ever given – “Our party is dedicated to throughly debunked economic bullshit that can only be defended by ventriloquist dummies and the mentally deranged, like myself.”

Perhaps the most entertaining parts of the evening were not the main stage events, however, but the side shows.  The fringe festival, if you will.

“Deposed national committeewoman Priscilla Rakestraw was in attendance, raffling off a homemade rum cake, along with Ellen Barrosse, an anti-abortion activist who succeeded Rakestraw in the RNC post last year.”

Good Lord!

Priscilla, I don’t think rum is going to cut it with this crowd.  Have you considered peddling Grain Alcohol cakes at these functions?    Seriously, let’s talk.   I have a feeling that “black out mode”  may be something the GOP faithful would find therapeutic at this point.

Christine O’Donnell purchased a table at the event, mingled about the room and posed for photos with friends. (sic)

Dennison certainly meant to type “friend.” But wait, it gets even more weird – check this out. Even the DE GOP fringe has a fringe…

And in the lobby outside the ballroom, Steve Grossman, the former campaign manager of failed gubernatorial candidate Jeff Cragg, set up a table with pamphlets and free coffee mugs advertising a new venture called DelawareRight.com

Grossman said the effort is a “parallel Republican Party” aimed at disillusioned party members and focused on recruiting candidates.

I’m not say that there isn’t a NEED for a parallel DE GOP with Sigler in charge of the nominal party, but this new venture looks like a Frank Knotts blog backed by all the financial muscle of diligent search for spare change in the floorboards of an old Chevy.

Then again, if the official party is depending on Priscilla Rakestraw’s homemade rum cake for their sustenance, maybe this upstart DE GOP has a chance.

About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (6)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. puck says:

    I thought this was a nice bit of deadpan absurdist creative writing – then I clicked on the link.

  2. jason330 says:

    I’m nowhere near creative enough to parody today’s DE GOP.

  3. citydems says:

    You might not know Rakestraw’s rum cake- It is a keeper – better known than Gerry Kelley’s also homemade cookies

  4. puck says:

    Better known than many of their candidates.

  5. kavips says:

    Next one we’re sneaking in pot brownies. And videotaping.

Switch to our mobile site