Guards tired of Atkins visits.

Filed in National by on November 25, 2012

State Legislature: “Tell me about it.”

“Atkins is always coming in here like everyone should be soooo happy to see him, them he just hangs around and gets on everyone’s nerves.” said the State Legislature. “I can’t tell you how man times I’ve picked up a half empty can of his Diet Coke and poured it out. He think’s they’re free for gosh sakes!”

The State Legislature ticked off a list of Atkins’ annoying habits which included; leaving the seat up, tuneless whistling all the goddam time, ignoring the word “recycling” clearly printed on receptacles, ‘borrowing” everyone’s scissors, his boring “This one time in jail…” stories, taking about ‘Big Bang Theory’ as if liking that show means he is smart, his constant “Indian Dunkin-Donuts guy” impersonations, microwaving smelly leftovers, loudly bragging about how gullible voters in his district are, and basically being alive on planet Earth.

The State Legislature acknowledged that the last item was harsh but added, “Seriously though, he is so fucking annoying, you have no idea.”

But seriously….

If you read that NJ story, Atkins is revealed to be a total idiot and an irresponsible dick. He put guards in danger, gets them in trouble with their superiors and mocks them – just for good measure.

“If Lt Wise feels like she was burdened by doing her job, I’m sorry for that. I hope she doesn’t feel like every visitor that come in there burdens her. She does have a job to do.”

Other visitors don’t come three days a week to hang around, shoot the breeze for three hours, and order in pizza.

About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (5)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Uh, Pete, couldn’t you just create an ‘Adult Entertainment’ Committee, make Atkins chair, and give John a $500 annual budget, all in singles?

    He’d cause less trouble there.

  2. JConnor says:

    What would he do for the other 364 days:)?

  3. puck says:

    When you’re not even welcome in a prison it’s time for some re-examination. Atkins may want to get on better terms with those guys, because one day that might be his residence.

  4. jason330 says:

    I can’t get over how unguarded Atkins is now about being a total dick. He is in “fuck it, I’m untouchable now” mode.

  5. He has always been in that mode. Gonna cost him big-time some day, and I’m bettin’ soon.

Switch to our mobile site