A Die Hard Christmas – An Open Source Christmas Musical for People who are a little tired of ‘The Nutcracker’ and ‘A Christmas Carol’
Act 1, Scene 1: “This Christmas will be different”
Shoppers excitedly bustle on the sidewalk in front of Nakatomi Towers in Midtown Manhattan. Enter John McClane. [Song - "This Christmas is going to be different - with a bang not a whimper" John McClane & Chorus. The song includes backstory on the troubled relationship between McCalne and his wife, Holly Gennaro-McClane, and how John McClane wants to use the goodwill of the season to romance his estranged wife back into the sack.] The crowds slowly part and McClane is left under a single follow spot. McClane reveals his motivations. He is withdrawn and depressed because he thinks he has lost the ability to come up with new catchphases. [Song: “I Got Nothing (For Christmas).”] Only by learning the true meaning of Christmas can he regain his catchphrase mojo. To do that he must defeat the greed and commercialism of Christmas, McClane exits into the building.
Act 1, Scene 2: “What kind of Terrorist Are You?”
Inside the gaily decorated offices of Nakatomi Towers a Christmas Party is underway. Hans Gruber and Joseph Takagi mingle in separate circles while John McClaine can be seen on a riser above stage left preparing to join the party. [Song: "I'm a Grinch wrapped in a Scrooge" Gruber reveals his plot to steal the Christmas bonuses from Nakatomi, kill a bunch of people, and thereby ruin Christmas.]
Gruber and Takagi bump into each other and Gruber produces a gun. [Song - "What kind of Terrorist Are You?" a duet between Gruber and Takagi which includes the lyric "Don't be a cowboy"] After shooting Takagi, Gruber addresses the party directly. Meanwhile McClaine surprises Gruber’s henchman, Marco, kills him, and dumps the body over a banister onto the dance floor. Gruber’s henchman 2 takes a note out of Marco’s mouth, “What does it say?” asks Gruber. “”Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”
Act 2, Scene 1: “Greed can still save Christmas! No it can’t”
Inside the offices of Nakatomi Towers two hours have past since the murder of Takagi and the killing of Marco. Gruber is trying to get the safe opened but is being distracted by McClane periodically killing his henchmen and attaching insulting notes to their bodies while mocking Gruber over Marco’s wlakie talkie. Meanwhile Harry Ellis, is talking with Holly Gennaro-McClane. [Song - "Greed can still save Christmas!" Harry Ellis and Holly Gennero-McClane duet/argument.] Ellis approaches Gruber. Ellis speaks to McClane on the walkie talkie. [ "Greed can still save Christmas!" Reprise Trio; Gruber, Ellis, and McClane.] Gruber shoots Ellis.
That’s all I’ve got so far. If someone wants to write the songs and help me finish it up and pitch it to who ever is handling the earthly affairs of the deceased Roderick Thorp, I’m all ears.