Death and Taxes (without the Death)

Filed in Delaware, National by on July 31, 2011

h/t to Joanne Cabry for this.

If you’re a conservative who hates taxes, please do the following.

1. Do not use Medicare.
2. Do not use Social Security
3. Do not become a member of the US military, who are paid with tax dollars.
4. Do not ask the National Guard to help you after a disaster.
5. Do not call 911 when you get hurt.
6. Do not call the police to stop intruders in your home.
7. Do not summon the fire department to save your burning home.
8. Do not drive on any paved road, highway, and interstate or drive on any bridge.
9. Do not use public restrooms.
10. Do not send your kids to public schools.
11. Do not put your trash out for city garbage collectors.
12. Do not live in areas with clean air.
13. Do not drink clean water.
14. Do not visit National Parks.
15. Do not visit public museums, zoos, and monuments.
16. Do not eat or use FDA inspected food and medicines.
17. Do not bring your kids to public playgrounds.
18. Do not walk or run on sidewalks.
19. Do not use public recreational facilities such as basketball and tennis courts.
20. Do not seek shelter facilities or food in soup kitchens when you are homeless and hungry.
21. Do not apply for educational or job training assistance when you lose your job.
22. Do not apply for food stamps when you can’t feed your children.
23. Do not use the judiciary system for any reason.
24. Do not ask for an attorney when you are arrested and do not ask for one to be assigned to you by the court.
25. Do not apply for any Pell Grants.
26. Do not use cures that were discovered by labs using federal dollars.
27. Do not fly on federally regulated airplanes.
28. Do not use any product that can trace its development back to NASA.
29. Do not watch the weather provided by the National Weather Service.
30. Do not listen to severe weather warnings from the National Weather Service.
31. Do not listen to tsunami, hurricane, or earthquake alert systems.
32. Do not apply for federal housing.
33. Do not use the Internet, which was developed by the military.
34. Do not swim in clean rivers.
35. Do not allow your child to eat school lunches or breakfasts.
36. Do not ask for FEMA assistance when everything you own gets wiped out by disaster.
37. Do not ask the military to defend your life and home in the event of a foreign invasion.
38. Do not use your cell phone or home telephone.
39. Do not buy firearms that wouldn’t have been developed without the support of the US Government and military. That includes most of them.
40. Do not eat USDA inspected produce and meat.
41. Do not apply for government grants to start your own business.
42. Do not apply to win a government contract.
43. Do not buy any vehicle that has been inspected by government safety agencies.
44. Do not buy any product that is protected from poisons, toxins, etc…by the Consumer Protection Agency.
45. Do not save your money in a bank that is FDIC insured.
46. Do not use Veterans benefits or military health care.
47. Do not use the G.I. Bill to go to college.
48. Do not apply for unemployment benefits.
49. Do not use any electricity from companies regulated by the Department of Energy.
50. Do not live in homes that are built to code.
51. Do not run for public office. Politicians are paid with taxpayer dollars.
52. Do not ask for help from the FBI, S.W.A.T, the bomb squad, Homeland Security, State troopers, etc…
53. Do not apply for any government job whatsoever as all state and federal employees are paid with tax dollars.
54. Do not use public libraries.
55. Do not use the US Postal Service.
56. Do not visit the National Archives.
57. Do not visit Presidential Libraries.
58. Do not use airports that are secured by the federal government.
59. Do not apply for loans from any bank that is FDIC insured.
60. Do not ask the government to help you clean up after a tornado.
61. Do not ask the Department of Agriculture to provide a subsidy to help you run your farm.
62. Do not take walks in National Forests.
63. Do not ask for taxpayer dollars for your oil company.
64. Do not ask the federal government to bail your company out during recessions.
65. Do not seek medical care from places that use federal dollars.
66. Do not use Medicaid.
67. Do not use WIC.
68. Do not use electricity generated by Hoover Dam.
69. Do not use electricity or any service provided by the Tennessee Valley Authority.
70. Do not ask the Army Corps of Engineers to rebuild levees when they break.
71. Do not let the Coast Guard save you from drowning when your boat capsizes at sea.
72. Do not ask the government to help evacuate you when all hell breaks loose in the country you are in.
73. Do not visit historic landmarks.
74. Do not visit fisheries.
75. Do not expect to see animals that are federally protected because of the Endangered Species List.
76. Do not expect plows to clear roads of snow and ice so your kids can go to school and so you can get to work.
77. Do not hunt or camp on federal land.
78. Do not work anywhere that has a safe workplace because of government regulations.
79. Do not use public transportation.
80. Do not drink water from public water fountains.
81. Do not whine when someone copies your work and sells it as their own. Government enforces copyright laws.
82. Do not expect to own your home, car, or boat. Government organizes and keeps all titles.
83. Do not expect convicted felons to remain off the streets.
84. Do not eat in restaurants that are regulated by food quality and safety standards.
85. Do not seek help from the US Embassy if you need assistance in a foreign nation.
86. Do not apply for a passport to travel outside of the United States.
87. Do not apply for a patent when you invent something.
88. Do not adopt a child through your local, state, or federal governments.
89.Do not use elevators that have been inspected by federal or state safety regulators.
90. Do not use any resource that was discovered by the USGS.
91. Do not ask for energy assistance from the government.
92. Do not move to any other developed nation, because the taxes are much higher.
93. Do not go to a beach that is kept clean by the state.
94. Do not use money printed by the US Treasury.
95. Do not complain when millions more illegal immigrants cross the border because there are no more border patrol agents.
96. Do not attend a state university.
97. Do not see any doctor that is licensed through the state.
98. Do not use any water from municipal water systems.
99. Do not complain when diseases and viruses, that were once fought around the globe by the US government and CDC, reach your house.
100. Do not work for any company that is required to pay its workers a livable wage, provide them sick days, vacation days, and benefits.
101. Do not expect to be able to vote on election days. Government provides voting booths, election day officials, and voting machines which are paid for with taxes.
102. Do not ride trains. The railroad was built with government financial assistance.

The fact is, we pay for the lifestyle we expect. Without taxes, our lifestyles would be totally different and much harder. America would be a third world country. The less we pay, the less we get in return. Americans pay less taxes today since 1958 and is ranked 32nd out of 34 of the top tax paying countries. Chile and Mexico are 33rd and 34th. The Republicans are lying when they say that we pay the highest taxes in the world and are only attacking taxes to reward corporations and the wealthy and to weaken our infrastructure and way of life. So next time you object to paying taxes or fight to abolish taxes for corporations and the wealthy, keep this quote in mind…

“I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

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About the Author ()

A rabble-rousing bureaucrat living in Sussex County

Comments (1)

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  1. Rusty Dils says:

    I’m sorry I only have time to respond to the first 2/3, 63 of these crazy, crazy, crazy arguments. First a soon to be famous quote.
    ” Liberals are like 2 years olds, you can’t reason with them, and they throw alot of tantrums”, Author, Rusty Dils.

    You are misunderstanding, and misstating many peoples position on taxes. Saying they want a smaller government, and less taxes, is not the same as saying they want no government, and no taxes. You liberals struggle with the difference between the two statements above. I suggest reading them several times, until you feel comfortable that you understand the difference. Make sure of that before you move on. Virtually none of the quotes and articles I have been reading during this raising of the debt ceiling negotiations has indicated that people are pushing for no taxes, and no government. So your originall premuse is wrong, hence your article is of no relevance to anything, since no one (That means Zero people), are asking for no taxes, and no government.
    However, I still feel I have to respond to your out landish claims.

    Out of your approximately 100 items, I use about 13, or 14, So I would be super glad if our taxes were only 25% or 50% of what they are today. I specifically use items 8,10,14,15,16,18,19,28,29,30,33,37,54. And I take strong exception to your items 12, 13, 27, 35,38,39,40,43,44,45,49,50,55,58,62. Starting with item 12,Long before the government was involved, there was plenty of clean air in this country. And still, in the overall geography of the country, 99% of the air is still clean with no government involvment. Item 13, long before government involvement, plenty of clean drinking water, still plenty of clean drinking water that the government has nothing to do with. I pay my water utility company a seperate bill. 27. Long before the government involvement their were planes, safe planes, and airlines, and safe airlines. There were crashes, still are crashes, always will be crashes. government has not improved this one iota. 35 School lunches, My whole life going to public school my parents gave me lunch money, grades 1-12, my kids whole life going to public school, I gave my kids lunch money. For what I gave them, easily could have packed a lunch bag, and often did. (where do you come up with this stuff). If you went to public school your parents gave you seperate money for lunch as well, or they packed you a lunch. Government did not pay or subsidize this. Your information is not accurate, it is in correct, and wrong. 38. telephones, or cell phones. I’ll have to check my history notes to see what department of the government alexander grahm bell worked for. (are you really serious about this one. you don’t think we would have phones without the government, ku ku). 39. No firearms without the government. Wrong
    40. I grew up eating steak for dinner. One of my dads friends used to raise a few cattle on his farm, and every year he would give my dad a side of beef. Then the usda clamped down, and added to much cost and made it impossible to raise a small amount of cattle. So my dad’s friend stopped rasing them, and he stopped giving my dad a side of beef every year. Some how thow, miracously, I never got sick from that non usda inspected beef. I wonder why, (maybe it is because the guy rasing them new more about the condition of his cattle than the government inspector). 43. Government safety agencies, Are you kidding with this one. They wer plenty of great cars made before the government started regulating everything the auto mfg did. There is a thing called the free enterprise system. Open markets, If you make lousy stuff, and your competitor makes good stuff, you will do lousy, and your competitor will prosper, consumers don’t need the government to tell them if something is safe or not. Besides, the government does not do a good job of that anyway. 44. People will always get accidently poisend, and they always have. Government intervention does not stop this. 45. FDIC, yes, now we get a wopping 1% on our money, this will take 50 years to double, before fdic, you could get 5 or 6 %, and double your money in 10 or 15 years. 49. This is very far fetched, I am sure electricy would be being generated safely in this country without the government. Edison invented it, and it worked perfectly fine over 100 years ago.50 Homes built to code. Most of the homes built the last 50 years have been built to code, and most of them are still having to be completely remodeled. My 1971 home was built to code. Even the Aluminum wiring that the government said was ok. Since the government said it was ok, everyone used it. So now, everyone that trusted the government codes back then got ripped off. 55. us postal service. ARe you kidding. we pay for these services, and they are similarly priced to other private services, ups, and fed ex. If the post office is losing money, they need to see where they are losing it (probably in massive overhead), and correct the loss. There is simply no reason for them to lose money on the us post office. 58. Airports secured by federal government. How did that work out on 9/11. I rest my case. Sorry about not being able to be more cooperative about your liberal scheming ideas.