The DC Safe Zone

Filed in National by on August 24, 2010

A tea partier in Maine has put together a guide for teabaggers traveling to DC for Glenn Beck’s “I Have a Fever Dream” rally. Apparently DC is full of immigrants, gay people and Democrats. You’re also supposed to float to the rally since you need to avoid most of the Metro and cabs.

DC’s population includes refugees from every country, as the families of embassy staffs of third world countries tend to stay in DC whenever a revolution in their homeland means that anyone in their family would be in danger if they went back. Most taxi drivers and many waiters/waitresses (especially in local coffee shops like the Bread and Chocolate chain) are immigrants, frequently from east Africa or Arab countries. As a rule, African immigrants do not like for you to assume they are African Americans and especially do not like for you to guess they are from a neighboring country (e.g. Eritrea, Ethiopia, Somalia) with whom they may have political or military tensions. It’s rare to meet anyone who gets really offended, but you can still be aware of the issue.

Many parts of DC are safe beyond the areas I will list here, but why chance it if you don’t know where you are?

If you are on the subway stay on the Red line between Union Station and Shady Grove, Maryland. If you are on the Blue or Orange line do not go past Eastern Market (Capitol Hill) toward the Potomac Avenue stop and beyond; stay in NW DC and points in Virginia. Do not use the Green line or the Yellow line. These rules are even more important at night. There is of course nothing wrong with many other areas; but you don’t know where you are, so you should not explore them.

If on foot or in a cab or bus, stay in Bethesda, Arlington (preferably north Arlington), Crystal City, Falls Church, Annandale, or Alexandria, or in DC only in northwest DC west (i.e. larger street numbers) of 14th or 16th streets, or if on Capitol Hill only in SE Capitol Hill (zip 20003) between 1st and 8th Streets, not farther out than 8th (e.g. 9th, 10th etc). (Or stay on the Mall and at the various monuments.) Again there are many other lovely places, from the Catholic University of America to Silver Spring, Maryland. But you don’t know where you are so you cannot go, especially at night, unless you take me with you.

DC area bloggers mapped out the “DC safe zone”


View The Tea Party Guide to DC in a larger map

He should probably advise them to avoid Capitol Hill and the White House. There’s African-Americans there.

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Opinionated chemist, troublemaker, blogger on national and Delaware politics.

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  1. Mean Streets « From Pine View Farm | August 24, 2010
  1. a. price says:

    Is that blurb from a teabagger or a joke? Automatic weapons?! Arent the Bags the ones who fight for the right to carry bazookas into the white house…. OH i get it… WHITE PEOPLE’S right to carry bazookas into the white house.

  2. Frank says:

    Words fail me.

  3. cassandra m says:

    Love this map! Somebody should tell homosexuals all over the US about the automatic weapons thing — this is apparently the special sauce that got them gay marriage in DC. And this map keeps these teabaggers on the Mall and on K street where they can terrorize the tourists and stay out of the hair of residents.

  4. Miscreant says:

    The author of that bullshit is grossly uninformed.

    I spend a lot of time in DC. There’s no part of the Metro that I would consider to be unsafe. It’s one of the most secure mass transit systems on the planet. (I was surprised to hear about that little riot last month)

    I’ll admit there are a few places around DC that are as lawless as some third world shitholes, but the Metro is like a sanctuary under those areas.

    Was at a training seminar with several police agencies a while back, including DCPD and Metro Transit Police. When DCPD found out where we were staying, they advised us to carry our concealed weapons, and travel underground as much as possible after dark. It was good advice.

    For the record, I’ve never encountered a homosexual packing an automatic weapon, anywhere.

  5. Someone should tell the Eritreans to wander into the safe zone to give the teabaggers a scare.

    More seriously, though – if you go to the link you’ll see that the author of the post gave out the home addresses of several officials, including Nancy Pelosi.

  6. Aoine says:

    OMG – this is…I don’t know – either hysterically funny or sad…

    as a former beltway bandit myself, I spent a lot of time in Adams/Morgan and Horrors in areas off the Green and yellow line

    just think of all the great Ethiopian food and other ethnic food they will miss – I still love the Metro because I can sit and listn to all the various languages – some I speak others I don’t

    The only think about DC i don’t miss is traffic – the culture, the art, the people etc makes it a great place
    I have never seen an Uzi or Ak in Dupont circle or the “U” street area either..

    talk about “scaring white poeple for fun and profit”

  7. Miscreant says:

    As bicycle enthusiasts, my wife and I used to go to DuPont Circle in the afternoon to check out the gear the bicycle messengers were using. They gathered on the Circle after work to drink, and do recreational drugs (no automatic weapons in sight, though). The US Park Police started conducting raids and seizing unregistered bicycles, so I don’t know if they still gather there. Leave it up to the Feds to fuck up a good thing.

  8. Jason330 says:

    All of my DC friends would be very happy if tbagz confined themselves to Chrystal City.

  9. Aoine says:

    all my DC friends and family would be very happy if they didn’t

    come at all.

  10. MJ says:

    OMG. I lived in DC for 18 years before moving to Delaware. Granted, there are/were some parts I would never venture (high drug crime areas in far SE near the line with PG County), but DC and the Metro are so e’ffing safe. Capitol Hill NE, scene of the riots in 1968, has finally started to see new life and is being revitalized. And the area between 8th ST SE and Potomac Ave SE has also been revitalized (Harris Teeter, new condos, a great mix of young families and professionals looking for affordable housing in the city). The asswipe who wrote this “guide” must have been visiting DC using the hot tub time machine and went back to 1988-94 DC.

    And I never met any of my gay brothers or sisters who were packing automatic weapons, although a few of them were packing. ;-)

  11. MJ says:

    After looking at the blog, I realized that I know this asshole. His name is Bruce Majors, he’s a realtor and he’s gay. Wow, to think we thought about using him to sell our home before we moved 5 years ago. Always thought he was a bit of an asshole, this just confirms it.

  12. cassandra m says:

    Rachel Maddow has some fun with the scare white teabaggers for fun and profit theme.

  13. WWB says:

    The clown who wrote this “guide” missed or ignored the fact that those “scary” parts of the Metro (green and yellow lines, orange line east of Eastern Market) are used by suburbanites daily to commute downtown to work, or by people like me who enjoy traveling to DC for the occasional baseball or hockey game or just to enjoy the day. This is, again, a right wing attempt to play on the racial fears of some (many?) whites. Sure, the people who board at stops like Deanwood and Minnesota Avenue are pretty much always black, but does that automatically make them threats to others? Puh-leez. I guess the Navy is pretty scary, too, since the Washington Navy Yard is on the Green line. And forget about taking in a baseball game for a break from all the hate; the Nationals stadium is at the Navy Yard stop on the Green line. Too bad they aren’t visiting during hockey season; it looks like the Verizon Center is in safe territory. And they can get there on the “safe” Red line. Oh, but wait…. the NHL and NBA seasons are roughly at the same time, and we know the race of most NBA players, so maybe the Verizon Center isn’t safe, either.

  14. The Heritage Foundation is located in the Red Zone.

  15. The bus parking is located in the red zone. How are the teabaggers going to avoid the gun-toting gay immigrants?

  16. Aoine says:

    Well, like MJ said…..many gays in the area – none with guns… but plenty packing…heat…lol

  17. MJ says:

    I’m in DC today and there are truckloads of porta-potties being brought in from VA. And the drivers and workers are BLACK! OMG, teabaggers are going to be peeing and pooping in porta-johns touched by non-whites.

  18. anon says:

    I’m sure teabaggers are OK with blacks working as potty haulers.