Want to know the best part about being a Conservative in America (besides the hot chicks, of course)? The fact that you can say and stand for anything you want, because when the time comes that you realize you were wrong, you can completely change your position without ever admitting that it is a change. And the rest of the world will play along. It’s kind of like being Catholic, except you don’t actually have to confess anything, let alone throw down any Hail Marys. The most recent instance of Conservative revisionism comes from that great sub-arctic thinker Sarah Palin.

The Queen of the Tundra posted this gem on her Twitter feed the other night:

“Extreme Greenies:see now why we push”drill,baby,drill”of known reserves&promising finds in safe onshore places like ANWR? Now do you get it?”

I guess the “of known reserves&promising finds in safe onshore places like ANWR” part didn’t fit well enough on the bumper stickers, but we all knew that was implied, right? Seriously, if Sarah Palin and her Twitter and Facebook didn’t exist, someone like Rob Tornoe would have to invent her. What is it exactly about these people that makes them think that they can firmly hold a position, then, when it’s proven wrong, go back and pretend like it was never their stance to begin with? There is no way on God’s green Earth that the Drill, Baby, Drill crowd meant, “Everywhere except deep water.” And “safe … places”? The only “safe place” to drill for oil is with an MMS employee. But even then there could be spillage issues.

And I think someone else may have noted this (my apologies if so), but Michelle Bachmann (yes, one of my other favorites) last week blasted the administration for not taking enough control in the oil spill clean-up effort. This is a woman who would deem it “Socialist Oppression” if Obama didn’t tip a cabbie enough. Now she asks:

The administration, they were hands off. They didn’t do anything. Where were the boats that could have been commandeered by the government to be sent into this region to deal with that oil plume as it was coming up in the water and destroying marine life? Nowhere to be found. Why? The administration was hands off on this policy.

Really?? Loaning money to ailing companies to help save them (and making a profit along the way) is a dastardly Socialist takeover, but taking dudes’ boats is cool? Someday the Republican Party will again be a serious governing body. Maybe not in my lifetime, but someday. Perhaps when they start worrying less about revising their previous positions, and start concentrating more on devising positions that don’t need to be constantly revised. Just a thought.