Heart Broken

Filed in National by on February 22, 2010

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is being treated at The George Washington University Hospital for chest pains. Now, I am of course loathe to wish ill on my political adversaries (….moving to side a little bit to avoid the lightning strike…), but I do have to say that Dick Cheney is iron clad proof that only the good die young. What is it now, four or five heart attacks? Over the last 30 years? Now, the mystery here is why Cheney isn’t dead?

For at least three of those heart attacks came while the former Vice President was receiving government funded and provided health care. Indeed, if government health care is so horrible and evilly socialist, then Cheney should have been dead decades ago. But of course it was not and is not, and Dick Cheney is alive today because of it. How wonderful for him, and so outrageously horrible for rest of humanity (in fact, is there a doubt in anyone’s mind that if Dick Cheney left this Earth tomorrow to begin shoveling ash for all eternity that the world would instantly become a better place, but I digress….).

Of course, the real mystery here is how they can do all this surgery on an organ he doesn’t have. Why are the Republicans not complaining about this obvious example of government waste?

Seriously though, we wish Dick Cheney a speedy recovery. And of course he will recover. He is our lot in life.

About the Author ()

Comments (23)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. a.price says:

    the device that keeps his 4 humors flowing runs on a lithium ion battery. these “chest pains” are code for “recharge the device”

  2. Jason330 says:

    I’ll dance a jig when that evil fucker kicks the bucket.

  3. Delaware Dem says:

    He’ll outlive us all, Jason. Immortality was part of that deal with Satan.

  4. Delaware Dem says:

    Plus, if he or George W. Bush should ever die, then we will no doubt be treated to a hagiography of unknown proportions.

  5. liberalgeek says:

    I want to die before George W Bush. I want no part of the crazy-right lovefest that will come when he is gone.

    Either that, or I’ll hop on the next plane to Paris. I’ll be safe there.

  6. a.price says:

    by the time he dies, everyone will have forgotten about him. Saint Sarah is all the rage now.

  7. Jason Z says:

    Ah, more threats to leave the country, I seem to recall a time……

  8. liberalgeek says:

    I’ll come back, I just want to be away from the TV news for a few days. Plus my French sucks, so I won’t even understand their news if I happen to see it.

  9. a.price says:

    “Ah, more threats to leave the country, I seem to recall a time…… ” when conservatives from the south didn’t like the government so they threatened to leave and hundreds of thousands of americans died before the conservative cause of oppression failed? yea Z, i remember that time too….. goooooood times.

  10. liberalgeek says:

    I walked the boulevards of Paris. I stopped taking taxis, since all of the drivers asked me about George BOOSH. I went to bars with no televisions and asked to sit outside at cafes, “reading” books in German so that no one would ask me.

    On the third day, I traded a Czech immigrant my clothes for his, so that I wouldn’t be asked anymore. I started faking a Czech accent. I think the French knew and understood after a while and left me to my solitude in the city of lights.

  11. Rebecca says:

    You don’t have that many heart procedures without suffering some brain damage. Right Joanne? It explains a lot.

  12. Joanne Christian says:

    Yea Rebecca!!! A gracious progressive…that’s why I love you!!!

  13. delacrat says:

    Go heart disease .

  14. fightingbluehen says:

    Man you people are callous .

  15. AnonLib says:

    I don’t wish him to die. Him, Glen Beck and Sarah Palin are poster children for the wacked-out right-wing of America (not just right-winged conservatives)and without him, that group will seem less extreme. Frankly, I think his continued involvement in politics, pushes the centrist Republican to the left in light of how they left this Country after the last administration.

  16. Joanne Christian says:

    Bingo AdLib. So pray for a speedy recovery, then I get angina everytime he appears on the Sunday roadshow:)!!

  17. capesdelaware says:

    Why doesn’t he just retire to some caribbean island and drink “bushwackers” or something .The guy just can’t let it go .peace .

  18. Joanne Christian says:

    And to think that he’s so loyal to check into GW:)!!!!

  19. I’m still hoping to see him beat Obama in 2012.

  20. AnonLib says:

    I don’t know about anyone else here, but I am petrified of a Cheney-Palin ticket in 2012. I really hope they don’t get any significant backing. Boy, that is the scariest ticket we could face.

  21. Palin with another 70+ year old with a history of health problems sounds like a winning ticket to me!

  22. Joanne Christian says:

    A 70+ year old w/ a history of health problems ain’t gonna happen. Instead, we’ll have to apologize and placate all the other invited guests in the room, for dear ol’ Uncle Dick who insults, and spouts off like a relative you have to invite, because Mom guilts you into “he has nobody else, and it is the holidays”. Dich Cheney has nothing to lose–he can go around and stir up and incite as many of you has he wants, having fun all the while–because all his accountability is OVER–he’s loving you put your energy into acknowledging him. Face it–you guys wouldn’t really want him pursuing his hobby of hunting now would you?

    Heck, I saw John Yoo at a recent lecture draw less ire–how come?

  23. skippertee says:

    Could anybody out there supply me with some of Cheney’s hair,spit, a toenail,something I could add to the doll.I’m SURE it would work more effectively.