Ask Dr. Liberal: Fast Food Edition
Dr. L,
Should I eat a McDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich?
Signed,
Greenwood Gourmand
Dear Greenie,
Your email has a sense of urgency to it. I get the impression that you are in a McDonald’s holding a McDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich in your hand and you are waiting for the green light. Since Liberal Geek prints out these emails, drives them to New Haven, then conveys them to my secret office via a complex system of pneumatic tubes of the kind you can still find operating in vintage 1930’s era office buildings, and I respond in long hand depending on Liberal Geek to type them up without injecting too many typos, I hope that is not the case.
I’ll assume that your question is slightly more philosophical than practical so I’ll give you a couple of things to consider.
The first thing you have to ask your-self is, what would you eat instead of the MacDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich? If the answer is a Movie Theater box of Mike & Ikes – then eat the McDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich. If the answer is a Roasted Asparagus Salad with Goat Cheese and Bread Crumbs – then eschew the MacDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich and eat the salad.On a deeper level, you need to ask what you are saying about yourself and America if you eat the McDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich? Or to quote Jack Kerouac, “Wither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car at night?”
Wither?….I’ll tell you wither. It is clear to me that either the McDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich is a part of a devious scheme to soften us up for an outright “Red Dawn” Mexican takeover of America by replacing sesame seed rolls with warm flour tortillas, OR the McDonald’s Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich is a social media marketing ploy devised to allow McDonalds customers in the spendy young demographics to eat while tweeting stuff like “Yo eatn McD Mac Snack Wrap…OMG! Killer!” with their free hand.
Either way, don’t eat a McDonalds Mac Snack Wrap ™ sandwich. If you do you will be one of those sad guys who goes around pretending to be younger than he is, or someone who hates America. Also, when is Delaware going to get an In and Out Burger? That stuff is the fucking bomb.
Tags: Dr. Liberal
We don’t need In and Out. Five Guys is just as greasy and just as good.
Is that from Clockwork Orange?
Not sure about Five Guys – it’s the only burger joint where I actually got sick after eating it.
Im intrigued by the Taco Bell drive thru diet. are they really trying to pass their “food” off as healthy? Their spokeswoman is like a really lucky (probably worm ridden… that would explain the weight loss from taco bell) version of Subway Jared. I’d like to see if anyone brings legal action against Taco Bell. Dr liberal, my question is…. are McDonalds fries better, or are Wendy’s?
In some books I read, Taco Bell food would be considered an ‘edible food-like substance’ and not actually food.
Speaking of Taco Bell, I saw on Twitter that the founder of Taco Bell just died.
how ironic
he was 86. not bad.
He must not have eaten there.
The Mac Snack Wrap is a sad effort to drive profits by lowering their food cost for a classic item. The wrap might cost them 1/3rd of the total cost, being mostly mac sauce and lettuce. Probably cost them close to 30-35 cents to make, and sell for $1.19.
This is just as ridiculous as a “low Carb” burger at Hardees. Same fatty greasy crap wrapped in iceburg lettuce with no bun.. and marketed as healthy. Healthy as a Crisco sandwich.
Dear Dr. Liberal,
The new Twitter icon on the side is making my GUI sensibilities ill. It is an obnoxious use of space, acts like a throwback to MS Frontpage, and you already have a Twitter sign up button easily visible.
What’s the point?
Dr. Liberal cares not about such things, A1. Instead, that is Geek playing around. I also find it redundant and out of place.
Put me with DD and A1 as not a fan of the Twitter icon on the side.
I also find it redundant and out of place.
Common ground is found between DD and A1. Dr. Liberal’s miraculous healing effects in action! 🙂
Didn’t see that people had picked up on it already…soooowwwwwyyyyyyyy…
Can anybody explain to me the twitter hype anyway? Or facebook? Or myspace? Facebook sucks because you have to sign up to see anything and twitter is, IMHO, for those who are unable to write an entire sentence(Should I be running and ducking just about now?).
I do have a myspace account. I signed up to check it out, never went back.
Twitter is like blogging but with less accountability.
as someone who doesn’t twitter, but as someone who likes to disagree, LONG LIVE THE TWITTER ICON!
Also, speaking of food that would probably be better used as weed killer…. the hot wings from the shell station on delaware ave in wilmington are AWESOME! anyone who lives in 40 acres, or whatever that neighborhood is called should plan a 2 hour trip to the gym to make up for it and try em out.
gas station hot wings… mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Gas station hot wings… is that like “engine block pot roast?”
Seriously though – Twitter is optimized for small devices, so the Twitter hype is tied in with the rise of the smartphones. People who are in love with their iPhones and crackberries have convinced themselves that any thought that won’t fit on a 2-inch screen isn’t needed anyway.
I don’t have a Twitter account, so I sometimes drop in on Twitter web pages to get the gist. It is basically a bon mot exhibition.
Twitter does seem to be good exercise for some people to learn pithiness.
I love Twitter. It’s great for an information junkie like me.
How about KFC grilled wings? They are grilled,not fried.Thay are not breaded either.
Thanks for your public service, Dr Liberal