Comments on: Cellphones, Texting And Kids

By: Pat Yoe

Pat Yoe — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 19:25:19 +0000

Funny that you mention it. I got my daughter a prepaid phone, Straight Talk has a 1,000 texts. 1,000 minutes deal for $30 a month.

It’s a great way to manage costs. It’s also on the Verizon network so the coverage is quite solid.

As a prepaid phone, there are no bills, contracts or surprises. Very nice.

By: Republican David

Republican David — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 13:17:57 +0000

No problem, if you decide the answer is yes to having it, then the second is yes. I would start them with a prepaid to test it.

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 23:52:12 +0000

Give in on the cell-phone issue – for your convenience but also because I’d rather have my kid text then have him use the home phone all day for making calls. Additionally, it does come in handy for getting his chores done. He has to put the phone on the dining room table until his chores are done.
The GPS feature is handy of you are worried about anything happening to the kids, we don’t have it. But I like being able to tell him I am home late, or him being able to ask me if he can go to a friend’s house after school. If I get someplace late to pick him up, I can call him now too. As for the texting – there comes a point where you have to trust that you instilled good values in your kids and that hey do not hot chat via text – though, I do check every now and then and tell him that too. We also talked a lot about what is appropriate and what not – I’d rather teach him how to use it then him going out and buying one behind my back when he has money.

I have less problems with the text phone then with the question if I should allow him at 15 to have a My Space page or not (which he did start behind my back).

By: Perry

Perry — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 22:22:53 +0000

It’s quite interesting and a little amusing to see today’s parents here struggling with the same issues we did when our two daughters were teens about 25 years ago. Of course it wasn’t cell phones then, but the peer interactions were identical in nature, using our antique communication capabilities back then when basic PC’s cost $3K and the internet wasn’t yet a vocabulary word. But then, there was the telephone, controlling the use of which was the challenge, along with inappropriate TV shows, parties and sleepovers. Somehow we managed, and luck (or whatever) have it, both turned out just fine.

I don’t have any additional insight or suggestions to offer, as there is plenty of great advice here. I will say, to a teen, the right to privacy is a critical issue. We handled that by telling them as long as they obeyed the rules, their privacy would be honored, as a matter of trust, but we reserved the right to investigate if necessary. It never became necessary.

The parent-child relationship, if maintained on a daily basis with loving care and attention, as appears to be the case with you, Pandora, will be the overriding factor in maintaining the security that you seek for your children. Then if a threat arises, they will tell you. Well, it looks like I had to offer my two cents after all!

So, in my view, it would be a mistake to deprive your daughter of a cell phone. My Dad deprived me of a driver’s license until age 21, the only one in my class (of 93) without one; it took a long time for me to get over it!

By: Mark H

Mark H — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:36:25 +0000

Down in Central DE Verizon seems to have better coverage, but I remember many dead spots Verizon had when I worked in Delaware City

By: nemski

nemski — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:47:05 +0000

Hey Mom, one last thing. Let your daughter pick out the phone. A keyboard (not a dial pad) is a must.

Also talk to your neighbors about reception of various plans. You should have good service from any of the major plans, but it’s good to get some first hand knowledge.

For instance, my parents live in Hockessin and have quite shitty reception on Verizon where they live. Though Verizon could be stronger than ATT elsewhere.

By: Another Mike

Another Mike — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:59:23 +0000

All three of mine have cell phones, mainly because we wanted to be able to reach them when necessary. Like many teens, they aren’t home all that much, particularly on weekends.

They are aware of the rules, one of which is that my wife and I have the right to read their text messages at any time with no notice. Had to remind them that the house is not a democracy, and there is no right to privacy. No web access on the phone (we’re on a budget), but unlimited texting is a must.

As others have said, you need to emphasize that everything they text to and receive from others is potentially public and very traceable. So if they’re going to trash a teacher, there’s a good chance the teacher will know the next morning.

And the threat of taking away their phones (and ipods and internet access) is an awesome tool to possess.

By: Mark H

Mark H — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:43:36 +0000

“and a lot cheaper, than therapy”
you haven’t received our bill yet

By: pandora

pandora — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:35:52 +0000

You know, this advice is far better, and a lot cheaper, than therapy!

By: edisonkitty

edisonkitty — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:32:51 +0000

Pandora, I agree with the above comments – get the cellphones, with caveats.

I can’t believe I am going to add this, but I am. While you may be able to take some gentle ribbing from LG about being a Luddite, your kids experience peer pressure more tangibly. You are worried about cyber bullying, but there is good old fashioned bullying to be had if a teenager is the odd one out with no phone.

By: Brooke

Brooke — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:21:19 +0000

My 14 year old has 52 contacts, many of whom are her relatives, doctors and pizza places. I know them all. When my kids are texting, I say “Who are you talking to?” because it’s as if an invisible person is in the room. Often, then, I check, and I might say “Hello, it’s … mom. Get back to geometry! )

I don’t know if you’d consider that the “not my kid” defense.

By: nemski

nemski — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:47:31 +0000

Two other things with that benefit the parent with the cell phones:

1. We recently had a “no electronics” grounding for 3 days. It was agony for the boy.
2. When he starts going out wiht his friends, I have already told him that his phone needs to be fully charged before he goes out. (He has a slight issue with not charging his phone.) This way when he is out, if we want to reach him, we can and vis-versa. There will come a day when he wants to go out and his phone is not charged, and there he will sit at home all broken hearted.

By: pandora

pandora — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:41:13 +0000

We’ve had nothing of the cyber bullying, because those aren’t the circles we roll in.

Brooke, this statement confuses me. The cyber circle is huge, and I’m not certain how one is certain they don’t roll in them. Which actually is my point. I’m trying to adjust to this new dynamic, and I really don’t think the “not my kid” defense is very realistic.

By: pandora

pandora — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:35:21 +0000

I have someone place my calls for me, LG. I thought you knew that.

By: pandora

pandora — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:32:40 +0000

I realize we’re headed for cellphones, but I still don’t like the underground behavior and the ease of attack. Guess it’s the human disconnect we need to address, and we bloggers are quite familiar with bad cyber behavior – which is why I’ve always thought bloggers, when possible, should meet. Adding a face to a name usually tones down the name calling.

The teen texting bullying allows a great number of the participates to remain nameless and faceless – unless it ends in tragedy. Everyone in the attacking teen’s network is employed, whether they know the victim or not. This adds a dimension that extends far beyond a neighborhood or school fight. And by introducing people who don’t know, and will never know, the victim the attacks tend to escalate quickly.

I don’t have an answer to this problem, and I’m not advocating banning cellphones. Guess, I’m preaching awareness.