Kay Bailey Hutchison: Rick Perry Gay?

Filed in National by on July 30, 2009

Oh those wacky Rethugs. Talking Points Memo, by way of the Austin American-Statesman (if Texas secedes, can we please keep Austin?), reports that the campaign of Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, who is primarying ¬†incumbent Texas Gov. Rick “Secession Now” Perry, included hidden phrases including “rick perry gay” in order to draw hits to its website.

In a candidate for Best Dissembling Statement of the Year:

We did not know these offensive word associations were being searched for by hundreds of thousands of Texans everyday nor do we condone the computer-generated existence on our Web site,” Hutchison spokesman Jeff Sadosky told the Austin American-Statesman.¬†

Oh. Then there must be an alternate explanation for why the ‘offensive word associations’ were on the site in the first place. Please allow ‘bulo to assist spokesman Sadosky:

“The seven monkeys hired for the express purpose of transcribing ‘Hamlet’ from the Olde English overstepped their bounds and have been terminated. It is my understanding that they have found gainful employment at a Texas free-market think-tank.”

Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

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  1. realdeal says:

    What was offensive? Nothing here.

  2. Hutchison’s words, not ‘bulo’s. Please comment more, realdeal. Your perceptive insights have been sorely lacking here.

  3. jason330 says:

    Wha..? Hamlet’s English is no different than ours, save a few archaic words and a slightly more poetic phrasing.

    BTW – Fuck Texas.

  4. Jason-It’s because these were PARTISAN monkeys who they wanted to keep on the payroll. But having no choice but to make monkeys out of them, the powers-that-be had to exile them to a ‘non-partisan good government think-tank’. Beats workin’ for a living. Although perhaps not throwing feces…

  5. Art Downs says:

    Shakespeare wrote in Modern English. For an example of Middle English, read the Canterbury Tales. Most folks need to look at the glossary every couple of lines and the tale is delightfully raunchy. Old English is more akin to German than the language we use today.

    It is a common error to think of the words of The Bard as Old English but there are more than a few more cunning linguists haunting the ‘net.

  6. Fascinated says:

    Jeff Sadosky sounds sexy.

  7. Shorter KBH: It’s not our fault that people think Rick Perry is gay.

  8. MJ says:

    The gay rumor has been flying around Texas for quite a long time, like a tumbleweed coming from Odessa and heading to Beaumont. In any case, we don’t want him on our team.

  9. jason330 says:

    If Rick Perry is not gay, what is his hand doing on my leg?

    BTW – Fuck Texas.

  10. A. price says:

    do you think members of the gay community would WANT rick perry? girlfriend PLEASE

  11. redlion says:

    speak for yourself, gurlfriend. you do not run the gay world, as much as you might like to think so. you militant queers with your quota and prejudices give us all a bad name. who the eff cares. speak for yourself next time. jerk.

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