Republican Problem-Solving Handbook

Filed in National by on May 22, 2008

(Image courtesy of Crooks and Liars)

So who needs Political Consultants? The funny blog, The Aristocrats, has provided the exhaustive list of strategies republicans use to respond to issues, crises and just plain uncomfortable moments.

Some of these items are not exactly family-oriented, but here’s a few exerpts:

create intricate web of lies about it
blindly support nutjob president
add three levels of corruption to it
use it to help with Constitution shredding
deregulate the piss outta it
capitalize it collateralize it securitize it and sell it to the world
it’s rapturific

Go read it and get your Pundit Hat on. And add more to the comments below. It’s the definitive roadmap to the repubs convention.

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"You don't make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas." -Shirley Chisholm

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  1. From Pine View Farm » The Republican Problem Solving Manual | May 22, 2008
  1. liberalgeek says:

    Blame the Dixie Chicks for it.
    Blame Daschle Dems.
    Look, it’s good for Israel.
    Say “No nation building!” then build nation, poorly.
    Hire lawyers from Regents University to litigate it.
    make hit list for people not loyal enough and fire them.
    Count every vote (in the right districts).
    Buy duct tape.
    Blackwater can fix anything!

  2. liberalgeek says:

    Build a soccer field.
    Collect weapons from civilians, then blast opposition as gun-haters.
    Use your own math.
    one word – Supplementals!
    Put up inspiration posters in war-torn areas.
    Abstinence-only.
    push-poll the hell out of it.

  3. jason33 says:

    I liked these

    try gay sex with strangers again
    make cool naked prisoner pyramid for fun

  4. Pandora says:

    The perfect post to end the night!

  5. The Liberal Method For Dealing With a Scandal or Unpleasant Facts

    1. Look incredulous

    2. Deny everything

    3. Make counter accusations

    4. If all else fails, claim victim status.

  6. cassandra m says:

    Sorry Mike — you have not been paying attention. Your list is Appendix A for the Republican Handbook: Real Life Examples Using Mark Foley and Larry Craig

  7. liberalgeek says:

    touche’ and well-played, ma’am.