I have escaped a Republican house of torture
I’m not sure where to begin. The family and I were welcomed into the den of lions. The fact that we escaped with the plastic bags on our heads and electrical cords hanging from our, our, it’s just too horrible to describe. I was bribed with gifts and alcohol. Mostly alcohol. It’s too much to even type right now to be completely honest.
As I gather my thoughts and try to undo the waterboarding I was submitted too. They called it a hot tub. Whatever, calling it a hot tub was just another sick example of their brazen ability to rename things to make them sound humane.
the tears of reliving this nightmare are spilling into the coffee they have given me. No doubt it contains another series of their mind altering drugs that will attempt to release the incredible wisdom I have stored within me
(picture tears…)
DV, you da man
Dude, you will be avenged! The lions (read in-laws) are coming to my den tomorrow. Hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas and a Hapy New year.
We are on our wasy to Monkey County MD or a holiday visit with a Liberal Democrat friend. we will probably avoid any ideological confrontations (considering the season) with her but I may take some delight in my quiet subversion. She treats the NEA as an enemy of quality education and has not problem with both of her sons learning to shoot. She is concerned about the Hispanic gangs that are active in more urbanized areas of the County and the growing ‘political correctness of the local police. I have helped turn her youger son into a Southpark fan and the message is seeping in.
We, as always, had Christmas at home. It didn’t really seem much like Christmas this year, with my darling bride having to work twelve-hour shifts on Saturday, Sunday and Christmas Day; she’s a registered nurse, and for some unknown reason the maladies which can afflict the human body pay no attention to the calendar.
Our Christmas presents were mostly restrained this year, in large part because I spent so much on my wife’s present. We were sitting in JT’s All-American Steak House in beautiful, downtown Jim Thorpe, when she said, “You know, with all of the expenses we have coming up in January, we really ought to be fairly restrained in gift giving this year.”
At which point I replied, “Oh, then you’d probably be annoyed to learn that I just spent $725 on your present.”
Her jaw dropped, and then she asked me if I was telling the truth, at which point I said that I was happy with it — since I had actually figured that her present would cost twice as much.
What did she get? I bought a stained glass window for the transom over our double front doors, 10″ tall by 52″ wide. The old transom was just regular window glass, and she had mentioned months earlier (when I installed a new floor on the porch) that it would be nice to have a stained glass window there. Given that her birthday is the 16th, and I have a difficult time trying to think of two good presents for her every December, once she mentioned that, it was a done deal in my mind.
She was completely surprised.
Most of the presents were for the kids, but I did get a new cordless (18 volt) drill, a new insulated vest and the DVDs of the fourth season of the best Star Trek series, Deep Space 9.
I can sympathize Dana, as I too am a registered nurse. However, this year I was the recipient of the prestigeous “Name Drawn from the Hat Award,” and was placed on call for 7pm shift on x-mas eve.
I bought my bride a TomTom nav device to assist her with her work as a hospice nurse. I had taken it out of the box to update and test a few weeks ago……man, I had a hard time giving that badboy up.
She bought me the iPhone, but I’m gonna make her take it back. It really is overhyped, IMHO.
The kids got Razors (free after rebate and rate plan adjust) and Direct Tv in their rooms (free after rebate and satellite company switch) as well as 1.5Mbs satellite internet (not so free up front, but monthly neutral).
A wonderful Christmas for a bunch of non-belivers. We will confront the enemy over New Years, the first day my bride and I are scheduled to be off together for the entire month of December/ January. Peace.