BREAKING: AL LEVIN TO SUMO WRESTLE PROTACK FOR GOP GUB SLOT

Filed in National by on December 17, 2007

I knew they hated primaries, but I had no idea how much they hated primaries. According to my source who is very close to Al, the GOP is determined to avoid a primary and are in negotiations with Mike Protack to come up with some other contest in order to avoid allowing the GOP “base” to pick the candidate in an open primary contest.  Suggestions so far include “thinking of a number between one and ten” and “Sumo-Style Wrestling”.

GOP mouthpiece, Dave Burris, continues to endorse the “by any means necessary (other than a primary)” approach to picking a candidate on his blog Fist State Poltics.

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Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

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  1. Dave says:

    This, as satire, has about as much relevance as your last “breaking news,” which wasn’t satire.

    I’ve said numerous times that we will absolutely have a primary. I just will take it upon myself to make sure that those primary voters are fully informed.

  2. jason330 says:

    So confident, so cocksure. Or…are you just resigned to the fact that you are having a primary?

  3. Dave says:

    I am absolutely resigned to the fact that we are having a primary. What part of ‘we will absolutely have a primary’ was unclear?

  4. RickJ says:

    The only possible way we would not have a primary is if Protack does something to disqualify himself from the ballot. He isn’t going to drop out.

    Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, he thinks he can win a primary election, make all those people who loathe him like him enough to donate a skillion dollars to his campaign so he can match the Dem primary winner in ad time, and win the hearts and minds of the voters – something he’s been unable to do in any election on any level.

  5. liz allen says:

    what does Alan Levin stand for? what are his plans for Delaware. Does Levin think he can
    “be in the game” without telling the voters what he does stand for? Hell, I’m still looking for a phone number or an email address for the guy!

    Re: Protack I think his health plan stinks, but hey at least he has one.

  6. Al Mascitti says:

    But Rick, don’t forget life is very, very good.

  7. Mingtown says:

    Liz why would you have heard anything he hast even announced

  8. Dave says:

    Liz – Maybe he’s a Zionist neo-con who sits on the Trilateral Commission and meets with the Bilderberg group in order to fully support the New World Order.

  9. jason330 says:

    BREAKING: AL Levin is a Zionist neo-con who sits on the Trilateral Commission and meets with the Bilderberg group in order to fully support the New World Order.

  10. R Smitty says:

    Damn, Jason…you’re good! Scooped that sucker right up!

  11. R Smitty says:

    BREAKING: Jason Scott’s self-exile from blogging (due to the repect of the love of his wife) is now set to expire on Feb 14, 2008, given the Eagles are now officially eliminated.

    Good thing he stuck to his plan….wait a minute….

  12. kavips says:

    It was Dave’s fault.

  13. Dave says:

    Everything’s my fault, k. I’m the new George Bush.

  14. jason330 says:

    In 1 year, 1 month, 2 days, 4 hours, 20 minutes I’ll be looking for you.