It’s all in the Interpretation (or Why Liberalgeek Suddenly Disappeared)

I just read that some scientists have recently “proven” that mathematically, vampires can not exist.  Their theory is that since vampires feed on people and then turn them into vampires, the laws of mathematics would mean that essentially, we would all be vampires.  Basically, if Dick Cheney bit one person per month, the next month there would be two of them.  And if Cheney and Rumsfeld each bit someone the next month, then on to Condi and Gonzales, etc.

The flaw in this thinking is twofold.  First, Cheney doesn’t have to keep his victims alive.  Theoretically, he could kill his victims before he drinks their blood.  This would leave fewer loose ends and constituents to keep alive.  It is even possible that he could satisfy his need for blood by simply gorging himself on the open wound of people that he simply injured, say by shooting them in the face.

Second, the assumption that he must feed monthly may or may not tell the whole story.  For example, he may only feel the need to really “infect” another person with vampirism every election cycle or something.  Sure, he could screw up by biting someone that won’t be as disciplined as he is (take Tom DeLay, for example) .  But even a single vampire with a voracious appetite for human flesh, like DeLay, can only do so much damage.

Oddly, AIDS may have helped here.  I think that this fear of blood in the past 20 years has probably curbed the appetite of some of these guys.  DeLay, for sure.  But Zell Miller and John Bolton sure don’t want to come up HIV positive, immortality be damned.